Today owes me. Tonight didn’t quite pan out. I had every intention of doing anything, but none of it came to fruition. Accordingly, I’m expecting today to double deliver. We have a White Elephant Secret Santa party at work then I’m off to a friend’s birthday drinks. Everything should be in order. So what went balls up last night?
Well we have this White Elephant thing today, right? I thought I’d be a smarty face and work ahead. I stayed late and got a bunch done so I’d have precious little to do pre-party today (that part panned out swimmingly, he says before the White Elephant has started). I left late and, as I’d planned, went to the gym. The nice thing about going to the gym late is that it’s easy to get in on squat racks, etc. The gym is barren and wonderful. The shitty thing is that it’s hard to gauge how much to eat before a workout. You don’t want to eat too much and feel bloated, but if you have nothing in your belly you’re already ruining your chances of performing in said workout. Not ideal, Neil. It’s tricky and usually means you’re famished by the time you’re finished. I was, but given the big weekend of food and drink I was resolute in waiting until I got home to eat. Alluring as pizza or Korean would be, I needed fibrous greens and clean protein.
The TTC did not abide by my desires. There was a delay on Line 1 due to fire, which meant I wasn’t going anywhere. At least I had last night’s writing to do, which helped some. Still, after seeing no progress 30 minutes in, I ditched the subway and opted to find a streetcar. Walking up to street level, I jumped into the first westbound streetcar I saw, but it turned out to be on short-turn. It was gonna take me all of five blocks north. So I needed to jump on another westbound streetcar which would lead to a northbound bus to take me home. Suffice to say it took me 90 minutes to get home instead of 40. I needed to eat.
I was content to eat and watch something, but I had to give the cat its meds. Then I had to upload last night’s writing. Then I had washing to do. Then I needed to wrap my present for the White Elephant. It was cumbersome. I’d bought three oversized Care Bear soft toys and paid no mind to how much paper they’d take to wrap. We had one mostly used roll of wrapping paper, it was 11pm and I had no options. Fuck. I’d thought I could’ve chucked them in a large black plastic rubbish bag, but we only had small white ones. Shit. What could I do?
I tried rolling off the remainder of our wrapping paper to see if they’d fit. It was close, but not quite there. They needed to be condensed. So I did what anyone with no concern for presentation would do; I grabbed a large-ish plastic bag and I smooshed them all together. I crammed as much as possible into that bag, then drew the string tight. I pushed it down again and drew it tighter. I needed to squish them to 2/3 their size. I smooshed, squished and squooshed as much as I could and tested the paper again. They just fit. It was a Hanukkah-esque miracle for Christmas. How’s that for acculturation?
That was it. That was my night. Is this what it’s like when you have kids? Think that was a boring entry? How do you think I felt living it? So I’m putting pressure on today to give me what I need. For your sake and mine, for the sake of tomorrow’s entry, let today bring something interesting with it.