Lies. I have no idea what the Hokey Pokey is actually about. Leprosy perhaps?

Just start. That’s all the advice I’m giving myself here. It’s 3.30am. I’m not intoxicated, but kind of tired. I’m not in the optimal condition to throw down knowledge or impart wisdom. Good thing that’s not the point of this project. I’m not in the optimal condition for anything (barring sleep really), but I’m gonna heed my advice. Just start.

It’s the advice I took when crossfit got tough this morning. I’m not gonna get specific about workouts because nobody cares (and seriously, why would you?), but things got tough. Staring at my bar I thought how easy it’d be just to wait it out and really catch my breath before getting those last 4 reps in. I then had another thought for my partner wanting to give it their all in this team workout and realised that my blockade wasn’t my body being incapable of lifting anything, but the notion of how temporarily unpleasant I might feel if I launched back into the exercise. What was I really worried about? I had a break coming up after these last 4 reps. If I spent myself now I’d have the time to recover. Also, why was I still thinking about this when the clock was ticking? Hands gripping the bar, hovering just behind it I looked down. Just start I thought. I harnessed the words of my main girl Taylor Swift from when she couldn’t find the word “bravery” and picked the bar up. It worked and I soon enough found myself in content, exhausted puddle on the ground. Steam rising from my body, breath coming in ragged gasps, I knew I’d given it everything I had. Just starting gave me the push I needed to move.

I took the advice at the latkes and crafts evening I attended tonight. Staring down at my blank page, I tried to imagine what I was really trying to make. Have you ever done one of those rainbow paper scrape things? I feel like that was the least plausible way to describe them, so I’mma start again with a comprehensive description. You take a piece of white paper and cover it completely with a mishmash of solidly coloured wax crayons. You’re looking for a rainbow sheen, not necessarily with any particular pattern. Then, and this may seem counter intuitive, you cover your colouring with black paint. Once it dries, instead of drawing in the conventional sense, you scrape out your intended outline with a nail or something. What it does is etches your image into the page with rainbow colouring. When done impeccably, it looks something like this. Still, if you’re wanting to do a good job and you’re anything like me, that involves an almost unreasonable amount of deliberating. What’s my content gonna be? I know it’s gonna end up on my fridge or wall, so what would I want there? What aspect of my personality do I want to exhibit for passers by through the lens of my admittedly lacking talents?

Shut up. Just start. I did and went instinctively for a sloth picture. When something’s this adorable and dopey, why wouldn’t you want it everywhere? I loaded up an image and copied it mercilessly. No room for that tracing bollocks, but the thing came out pretty well. So well in fact that when I was walking home at an odd time of the morning, I found streets fading away behind me at a rapid rate. Absorbed as I was by my new sloth picture, I hardly even noticed time or space shifting. Regardless, just starting gave me that push I needed to get across the line. My reward? Well, the aforementioned sloth picture.

And now I’ve tip toed over the line (like a 3 toed sloth), having heeded my own advice of starting I’ve managed to get digital ink down on a digital page. Did you like how I tried to shoehorn in a loosely relevant theme between disconnected narratives? Like the Hokey Pokey, that’s what it’s all about.

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