I feel like complaining, because I think complaining is something done best when you’re riding high and life’s going pretty swell right now. See, people who are really suffering don’t really complain. They’ve got no time to worry about how things could be better, they just need to make it through the shit piled on front of them. I have the luxury of vantage from a privileged position, so I’m gonna survey the landscape and snipe off some unimportant easy targets.
I’ve started to get over people complimenting me on my accent. I understand, it’s something different from what you’re used to. You like it? That’s great. You think it’s cute? How lovely. I mean that. The thing you have to realise is that I’ve got no strong soapbox here. I’m complaining about people being nice to me. So now that you understand that I understand, let’s continue. It’s not new, fresh or original. I’ve heard it many times. I understand that people are crappy at small talk (I know I am), but if the way the words sound when tumbling out my mouth is more important than how those words interconnect and create meaning, then I’m failing to provide worthwhile conversation. In complimenting my accent it says to me that my personality is invalidated as intriguing when placed next to the fact that I happen to have been born on a distant landmass. I recognise that your love of my voice doesn’t override the person behind it, but in my mind it certainly adds the stipulation of “I’d be less invested in what you’re saying if I didn’t like your lilt”.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m complaining about something that gives me a distinct advantage in this society. People want to talk to me and they’re gonna more readily accept what I say. People treat me better than your average dude on the street. It opens me up to opportunities that’d be otherwise lost. I get that.
What I’m facing is what I assume good looking women face on a regular basis. While it’s technically a positive thing happening, you’re being complimented, you’re bored/tired of hearing it and it isn’t exactly a conversation you want to have. Oh, so you like my accent? That’s great, but that doesn’t exactly get us anywhere. What am I meant to say? “Thanks, I made it myself”, “My dad gave it to me”,or “Thanks. I’ve been practicing heaps”? Because they were almost fun to say the first time. Almost. The big difference between my compliments and compliments based on women’s looks is that my complimentor generally doesn’t see themselves as entitled to anything because of their compliment. The idea that just because you said something nice to someone, they owe you reciprocal attention and/or affection? Gross. Mine issue is less about people looking to get something from me and more people scrabbling for something to say to fill empty air.
So that’s my complaint, the fact that something positive happens to me on a regular basis and I don’t feel like I’m allowed to complain about it. Though I just did. So there?