Groan pains.

Because I somehow haven’t done this before, I’m gonna spend the next 30 minutes writing haiku. Is haiku the plural of haiku? You’re damned right it is.

Haiku? Highlander?
No matter the number, there
Will be only one.

Did I just fuck up?
That last haiku blurred the lines
Don’t wanna sound Thicke.

They say restriction
It breeds creativity.
Well, who’s the father?

That last one? Two words:
Immaculate conception.
Don’t groan, me-sigh-ah?

Okay, too abstract
Reel it back in there Leon
It’s getting fishy.

So, I have a cold
If my nose keeps on running
I might just lose it.

They say that a pun
Is a clever play on words
So where’s my stage then?

Loving this too much
If I get lost in pleasure
call it seminal.

Let’s say you’re a male.
Last night did you shag or not?
Heh, “Schrödinger’s box”.

This is getting gross.
Head out of the gutter boy.
It’s become a drain.

In my defence, I had no idea it’d get that offensive. Still, if I had to pick a defence that’s the best one, right? Dumb. I need to not be typing right now lest you all self-harm through facepalming.


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