I could also use it as an excuse to take up penis puppetry. Does that need an excuse?

Before commiserating over the fact that I’ve been so slack with my update tonight, let’s first accept that I’ve done a decent job recently about making it happen. I feel like a big part of being able to love and accept yourself is being able to acknowledge your victories, no matter how small. This is me accepting that. Good job Leon. So while discipline has been on my radar lately, tonight it’s been willing to take a rest. It’s a holiday weekend here guys, I should cut me a little slack.

But back to the self-love thing. In an effort to combat my shitty body image and move towards acceptance, I recently bought a mirror from IKEA. Eschewing anything big and fancy, I figured a frameless pane of mirrored glass could do the job of self-reflection just as well as something more robust. I bought the $15 mirror and brought it home. It’s been leaning on the wall behind my computer desk for the past week. Determined to call on that discipline I’ve been trying to reclaim, I resolved to go out and buy some screws so I could hang it. Seriously, 4 screws were sitting between me and the ability to pointedly resent my naked form in real time. Well how could I miss out on a prospect that exciting? I put on my big boy pants and boots to head down to the hardware store. Also I was out of milk, so errand time!

The hardware store didn’t have milk. They did however have a whole range of screws. Knowing as much about home DIY as a doorknob would, I called out for some help. A guy who seemed pretty unsure of himself came to my aid and half-heartedly suggested a packet. He said I’d likely have drywall and need to get these plastic anchor sleeve things for the screws. I balked at the price of $6.50 for 8 screws/anchors, but paid it anyway because I was determined to make this shit happen.

I may have the same DIY knowledge as a doorknob, but at least the doorknob would have some sense of spatial awareness when hanging things. Armed with a mechanical pencil and a tape measure, I spent about an hour and a half trying to find the middle point of the wall and working out the placement of this mirror. Do you know what the best tool is when trying to hang something straight? A level. I wish I had one instead of dicking about trying to guess as best as I could. Holding the tape measure on what I thought was a straight line vertically was a poor way to gauge how this mirror should hang. Still, impatient and impetuous as always, I went ahead with drilling my holes and screwing in the holding brackets. After screwing in the anchors, it turned out the screws had a completely different head. None of this torx carry-on that I knew and love, but a robertson head. Unhelpful given my the screwdriver I had in hand. Thankfully in an attempt to reattach my shower handle that’d fallen off, a few months ago I bought a multi-head screw driver. Turns out it didn’t have the correct fitting for the shower head (allen key. One of the other reasons I went to IKEA), but it did have a robertson that stopped me from being a round peg trying to fit into that square hole. Dumb. At least I avoided the obvious Huey Lewis and the News trap.

It’s up! It’s mostly straight and will at least stay there without crashing to the ground. I did something practical with my time! I can now be unimpressed with my reflection at any time. Also I can check what I’m wearing before I leave the house, to ensure I’m not about to leave for work in my onesie. Hooray! Acknowledging a victory here. Good job Leon.

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