Don’t want to be dragon on here…

This post is gonna make zero sense to 99% of people who read it, but to any Magic the Gathering players, this one’s for you. We are the 1%, which makes sense considering just how expensive this game is.

So holy shit, spoiler season. After the last few heavy multiplayer sets it’s pretty refreshing to find our way back to more monocoloured terrain. Who am I kidding? I just want more fodder that fits into my many green EDH decks. Dragons of Tarkir just keeps giving and giving.

Roast. Just how brutally efficient is this card? I don’t care that it’s sorcery and doesn’t hit flyers (if you’re facing down a 5 toughness flier I’d be very surprised to kill it for 2 in red), that’s a fuckton of damage to output for 2 mana. Obviously Siege Rhino is gonna bear the brunt of the burn, but this is just phenomenal. Very excited.

Collected Company. Value, so much potential value. Magical Christmas Land says you’re digging 6 cards deep and finding 2 3cc creatures at instant speed. MEIN GOTT, IT’S AN INSTANT. God forbid you hit an Eternal Witness with this bastard and repeat the process. The thing is, Magical Christmas Land isn’t even that difficult here. It’s none too difficult to tweak circumstances in your favour. End step Brainstorm and chuck two dudes back on top? Scroll Rack gets degenerate (as well as letting you cycle unwanted cards). Does Haunted Crossroads excite anybody else with this? So many things, guys. So many things.

SO MANY THINGS. Too many things? Is Surrak uppercutting a dragon? Was this set designed by children? How can things get greater than that? What can I say? I’m excited. Let’s cut this down to some quick thoughts.

2cc Megamoph cycle. Great. 2cc 2/1s with neat alternate abilities. I guess blue just gets 2cc 2/1 flyers with no drawback now. That’s fine. I like how Den Protector scales. It’s 2/1 or 3/2 after morph, but in either case it’s always gonna trade on par. No chump blockers taking advantage of its lower toughness. Then you tack a Regrowth on there (that they can’t respond to? Thanks morph)? I probably won’t play it, but I like it.

Savage Ventmaw is going straight into my Wort the Raidmother EDH. It’s clunky and janky, but if I get one attack out of it, the deck is one of the few where 6 mana ramp actually does something. X spells say thanks and je t’aime.

They killed the design on Sarkhan Unbroken. Totally. At worst he replaces himself (and you get a mana?). At best he continually chalks up value turn after turn, accelerates a little and does something ludicrous. Or else he plops out 4/4 dragon after 4/4 dragon. There is very little I don’t like here, except maybe the need to play blue.

Scaleguard Sentinels. Do we get Tarmogoyf in standard now? If we get any low cost green dragons, this guy could be a goer for mono green devotion. Or, I mean, just splash red and get some Xenagos, God of Revels action in there with your dragons. DOO it.

I like where they’re heading with mythics in this set. For the most part (outside the Elder Dragonlords) they’re splashy and interesting rather than chase rares. This is what mythics are supposed to be.

Deathmist Raptor is goofy as shit. 3/3 deathtouch for 3 is decent. The return to play thing is nifty. Dump a shit ton of them into the graveyard, you’ll have a good time. You could even run Den Protector if you feel like it.

Descent of the Dragons. More like Decent of them. Nice mass removal/pump. They’re tokens, either you’ll use it to your advantage or find some way to abuse the fact that they’ve got a zero casting cost. I like my mass removal to be versatile. Great mythic.

Shorecrasher Elemental was obviously built for mono blue devotion. It’s an efficient Morphling that might save you from one bit of removal. With a Master of the Waves that’s 10 power right there (don’t forget that Master pumps elementals. Also 3 2/1 elementals because devotion).

That’s time everyone. I could seriously spend another few hours gushing over the rest of the shit in this set, but I’m probably the only one who’d enjoy that. It’s basically the written form of masturbation. Which is perfectly healthy and acceptable, but I’ve got people to go and play with.

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