Feeling cadaverage. I’m down with the sickness.

Feel sick, borderline delirious. Can’t sleep, clown will eat me. It’s a pity, if I was sleeping right now I’d be doing more for my cold than complaining about it here. No matter, must work. A pig in a cage sans antibiotics. Mug after mug of chicken stock and boiling water almost feels like I have chicken soup. Need oranges. All of the oranges. I will buy a bag of oranges and something cold and flu with Pseudoephedrine. Work will be fine. I would skip it, but we’re already down by 3 team members. I’m helping pick up the slack, so my absence would only compound the problem. It’s ok. I will have drugs and oranges and soup and everything will be dandy.

Or I’ll stare straight ahead at the fluorescent screen working mechanically while my mind surfs out in the aether. I’m 28, what does self-preservation even mean? I tried to sleep 8 hours last night, I really did. A throat blocked with mucus, raked with scratchiness didn’t help. 6 will suffice as it has most nights for the past 10 years.

Tomorrow I can relax. 3.14 is pie day. More importantly it’s Steak and a Blowjob day (which apparently has not one, but two official sites. I don’t know who to believe any more). This invariably means a day in bed, rising only to cook steak. To be honest I’m most excited to finally get to show my girlfriend Wall-E. We’re terrible at getting around to watching things, so having a whole day set aside means we might just manage to watch the escapades of my favourite trash collecting bot.

Until then, I have work. It’s my 4 monthly performance review. Well, that’s not really a thing. Everyone else was just having their performance reviews for bonus purposes. I haven’t been an employee for 6 months yet, so I don’t get one of those. My manager threw me a bone and just chalked out some time for us to catch up, hash out any issues I have and help figure out where I’m looking to get to over the next 6 months, year, etc. She’s had my back from the start and seems to have my best interests at heart. I’m looking forward to it, to be honest. No bonus for me, but frankly I’m just happy to have a job that doesn’t involve children.

So work. Then gym. Then seeing David Cross’ HITS with a friend. Is anyone else seeing a trend here? Scratchy throat? Bleary eyes? Sleep deprivation? My sickness seems to be the physical manifestation of FOMO. I’m so terrified of missing out on anything that I’m saying yes to everything. Because I’m not taking the time to rest, my body is pulling out all the stops to force me to get some sleep. It’s alright. I’ll just get to work, do an extra day of logs and if I’m still feeling junk on Monday, actually take the day to rest.

This will have repercussions. Now how many pills do I have to take before I become a zombie like John?

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