Your move, Creepy Lips.

This affliction has finally taken enough from me that I’m taking a stand against it… by taking a seat. I’ve taken the day off work to indulge in some good old fashioned self-care. I’m taking a rest and just letting myself find equilibrium. Between resting I’m getting parts of my life in order piece by piece. My sheets are in the washing, my dishes are done. I even opened the curtains for the first time in months. I cracked a window and I’m sitting here in my snorlax onesie taking it easy. This cold has been lurking on the periphery for nigh on two weeks and with my inability to get a good night’s sleep, it’s found the chink in my armour it needed. The symptoms haven’t made slumber any easier, so I’ve got the day to try and catch up.

I’ve got too much on the horizon to keep tackling things half-arsedly. I know this because I finally gave in to Google Calendar for organisation purposes. Mapping out the various parties, social engagements, events and live gig commitments has given me a tad more perspective on exactly what’s coming my way. It seems like my free time melted away with the ice and snow. I know it sounds dumb to be waxing lyrical about calendars, the cutting-edge technology that’s been around (in the form we use it anyway) since February 1582. That’s because it is dumb. I know I’m a late adopter, but I probably should’ve already had some form of tool to maintain my commitments beyond just remembering things. At age 28 I’m already old+2, who knows how much longer my synapses will keep firing without the aid of computer augmentation?

Maybe it’s just a childhood spent idolising Robocop (aside from those creepy human lips) and other androids, but I could do with some kind of interactive HUD. If I could efficiently analyse how my body parts were functioning and search the net for solutions I probably wouldn’t be wiped out at home right now. Imagine being able to instantly identify the composition of anything put on a plate in front of you. Being able to cross-reference nutritional information and make calculated decisions of risk vs reward in an instant. Imagine knowing precisely when to leave to arrive precisely on time. Imagine knowing what conversation path to take in order to leverage a situation to your advantage. Reading body language and knowing how to react. Imagine optimising your life for the greatest gain, fulfilling your maximum potential and attaining perfect bliss.

Except my grand plan is missing something huge. What fun is life if we lose the chance to make mistakes? Sometimes you have to run for a bus and end up meeting one of your best friends. Sometimes you get sick and it helps you appreciate when you’re firing on all cylinders. Sometimes you say something dumb, but your fallibility is seen as endearing. Sometimes you meet someone special but go home with someone else. Sometimes you think you’re in the wrong place, but 6 months later retrospect makes you realise that happy accidents have their place. Sometimes when you hit the bottom you meet those people who can help lift you up. Sometimes it’s nice to be proven wrong, because none of us know everything. None of us are perfect. We’re all just making guesses and hoping they’ll pan out. Lots of them won’t and that’s ok. No matter how much we plan ahead, life will find its own schedule that’ll shit all over our feeble designs.

Plus I don’t wanna be Robocop anyway. Those lips. THOSE LIPS.


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