Those rubber half-domes that popped up thought? I won’t hear a slight against them.

Quick, I need to get this down. There’s not much time left. Fighting against the encroaching darkness as sanity’s dying rays leave naught but the void. How much longer can I hold out? What resistance can I muster against overwhelming odds? Why not just submit and leave this fight for those younger, hardier or better equipped for the battle? So many before me have perished, who am I to think I can battle the rising tides of madness to stay afloat? What mettle have I that so many lost to time? Distance? Confusion? Why defy that which will eventually consume me? Does the fight itself justify what relevance I once had? Or is relevance an illusion we utilise to placate our meaningless struggle? With each keystroke, each character emblazoned on this page, time whittles down to naught. The more I contemplate my eroding mana, the less I can harness its dimming vigour. Here goes.

I think this notion that every new generation sucks is utter bollocks. Music is terrible now. When I was a kid our cartoons were much betterI can’t believe the garbage people read these days. “These days” “In my day” “What happened to?” Fuck you, more like. How can you feel so comfortable on your pedestal without understanding how you got there. I’m 28 now, I’m officially oldplustwo, but I’m not 30 yet goddammit. I’m too young to be spouting out such get off my lawn phrases as the latter few. The more people age, the less empathy they seem to have for those walking the path they’ve travelled. You’ve gotten to where you were, you had hardship and now you can look back with retrospect. Somehow retrospect (often perspective gained through struggle, loss or just plain annoyance) gives you the expectation that people should just be where you are in terms of comprehension because you’re there. How entitled and contrived is that? You have the view that you do because you lived your life. If someone is 10 years younger and hasn’t faced the things you have, how would you expect them to match your state of recognition? Not only that, but the rose-tinted glasses you wear come in at a solid #EF597B. There’s no opacity there, anything you view is just how things were in the mythical candyland of a past without fault. You can’t see the red zones of your history, because that damned bloody tint is blocking them out.

I’ve heard shit spouted on any number of things. Well fuck you, each generation has its shit it needs to own up to. You think you shat out gold? Think again. Have you been slagging off?

  • Justin Bieber? Aaron Carter, motherfuckers.
  • The Kardashians are a vapid waste of space? What about Everybody Loves Raymond? Its writing was no better than Keeping Up‘s is.
  • Annoying Orange? Street Sharks.
  • Angry Birds? Cool Spot, Global Gladiators, Fido Dido videogame. Corporate sponsors up the wazoo, and they weren’t teaching kids physics.
  • Nicki Minaj? First off, fuck you. She’s a talented as shit rapper. Secondly Milli Vanilli.

I’m not saying that this stuff that people get shitty about is the bastion of quality (except Nicki. She’s legitimately The Shit), but there were some pretty atrocious dregs back in each generation. I’ve gotta be somewhere right now, but I’ll revisit this at some point. There’s too much atrocious pop culture that people need to know about. Let’s not forget that the 90s existed, for fuck’s sake. Pogs were just cardboard circles.

POGS.

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