Too much festive feasting. I think I Torah hole in my stomach.

Happy Rosh Hashanah, the head of the year. I’d regale you with information on the holiday (holy day?), but I’m shamefully uninformed on a key day in part of my cultural heritage. I recently discovered that if I really wanted I’d be able to get paid Jewish holidays off from work, but due to the issue I just mentioned, I figured it’d be disingenuous to the max for me to take the day when I lack even the base knowledge. I know I’ll get to eat honeyed apples, challah, gefilte fish and drink some kind of wine (Manischewitz, maybe?), but that’s where my wisdom comes to a screeching halt. Aren’t I supposed to spend the next 10 days (prior to Yom Kippur) fasting? Some kind of atonement kick? Truly I am the worst of Jews. I tried to atone in advance by dressing for the occasion, but my inability to properly iron a shirt means I look menschally handicapped. Slovenleon. I fixed up the shirt then straight out to a movie, which means my painstakingly ironed shirt looks like balls. Wrinkled, that is. To be fair, I’m so bad at ironing the arms were crumpled before I even left the house, but sitting in a cinema with my arms folded for 90 minutes severely unhelped. UNHELPED.

The movie was kind of junk. Baskin, a Turkish horror movie. I somehow missed the fact that it was Turkish when I read the synopsis, but when the director introduced it I got hyped. It’s not like I get to see Turkish cinema all too often, let alone horror, which I’ve been trying to re-familiarise myself with lately. A promising set up that faced serious pacing issues, incongruous music choices, unlikeable characters and needless heavy handed symbolism. One thing though, it looked gorgeous. A ton of stunning, well framed shots. The art direction was on point and I’ve only recently (not having seen a ton of movies for the last few years) discovered how pretty films look these days. I don’t know if it’s just technology becoming cheaper and more accessible through digital developments, but wowee. Maybe there’s a reason people go for HD set ups rather than just watching on a computer screen.

Post Rosh Hashanah dinner and I learned a few things about the holiday: Most of the prayers are ones I learned back in Hebrew School, substituting the word “Hanukkah” for “Rosh Hashanah”. I know the bread one, I now know the fruit one, all that’s left (most importantly) is how to bless the wine. I also learned (as I do every holiday) not to fill up too early. There’s always another dish. If it wasn’t salmon patties with lemon yogurt sauce and cinnamon apple buns, it was matzoh ball soup, salad, turkey/stuffing/gravy/tomato crumble/root vegetables/cranberry relish/green beans. Of course this was followed by dessert, where the choice between apple pie, flourless chocolate cake, banana cake and pecan pie was inevitably to take all of them. Oh, just in case we weren’t full, there were fruit platters. I’m saying this, the lesson to be learned was how well suited my body was to eventual hibernation, because I’m gonna coma so hard when I get home.


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