Optic-y tacky.

I have a pretty virulent eye twitch right now. It could be a manifestation of caffeine overdose. It could just be my body fighting back against poor maintenance. Fingers crossed it’s my burgeoning optic blast ability taking root.

**** 5 minutes pass ****

Sorry, I just vanished to look up Cyclops in Wikipedia. I had some confusion over the origin of his abilities. Apparently when the X-Men began it was explained that his blasts held their basis in the metabolising of solar energy and discharging it. Later this was retconned to Cyclops’ eyes opening portals to another dimension, releasing the vast concussive force from that dimension. The article then goes on to form a number of convoluted rules around how his power manifests, how he’s immune to it and why he’s immune to his brother’s power of similar origin. As a kid I used to hope one day I’d develop a similar ability, but it never came to fruition. Now that I’ve grown up I’d still love the option to have it as an ability, but I don’t know how useful it’d be in my everyday goings on. Given that I don’t have Cyclops’ mathematical knowledge and insight to manipulate the beams, they’d likely obliterate most things they come in contact with. Surely having a precise cutting tool which I was able to access through vision itself would be handy as shit, but knowing my klutziness I’d end up without a kitchen counter. Or worse, I’d pull out my abilities on people who didn’t deserve it.

Given my fatigue this morning, I was amply grumpy today. I had a number of occasions in which I thought I was using logic but it wasn’t meshing with the logic of others. I got a little bit grumbly, which would’ve been made exponentially worse had I the ability to cease people’s existence at will. Firstly, the barista. Yesterday on a recommendation from a knowledgeable co-worker I stopped in at Sorry Coffee Co in Yorkville. An excellent head barista, she said. Superb coffee and a pleasant experience that did away with cash/tipping in favour of all inclusive electronic transactions. Marvellous, I thought and went in for my regular mocha. They didn’t have mochas on the menu, but the barista said he’d be able to add coffee to a hot chocolate to do it. Simple process which proved to be a delightful concoction. Checking the debit machine, it’d rung up as $6. $6 is a hell of a lot for a daily coffee. If I’m going for 5 coffees a week, that’s $5 more per week. If that doesn’t sound like much, think of my 50 or so weeks a year in which I’d be dropping in. That’s $250+ per year for coffee, which is a significant investment in temporary happiness.

I went back today with a plan. I’d see if I could sway him with logic. I mentioned how he’d done a great coffee, but $6 was a very high price. He said the mocha wasn’t a menu item. I agreed and asked if it was possible to form a cheaper regular price closer in line with other stores, seeing as he wasn’t really making two separate drinks or anything. Virtually everywhere else had a set price for a mocha closer to the $5 mark. I mentioned the fact that I was looking for a spot to drop into every day, 5 days a week, 50 or so weeks a year and that the extra dollar really brought the cost up to an unsustainable amount. He apologised and said that the chocolate was so expensive that, as a non-menu item, there was nothing he could do. I agreed that it was not a menu item and as such, had no set cost associated with it. He could set the price to anything he wanted but that losing the daily dollar would also bring in a customer paying over $1200 per year. I understood if it wasn’t possible, but just wanted him to consider it. He said he could not, that the price couldn’t go lower. I stopped. If I had an optic blast, this is where trouble would’ve arisen.

But I don’t. It didn’t. Instead of blasting his face off, I realised that I was making a request and he politely declined. No wrong was being perpetrated here, he didn’t owe me anything and I’d just unfortunately have to go somewhere else. My optic blast was a polite thanks for his time and a farewell as I awkwardly tried to open the door for someone, but then realised that it was a push but not a pull. I then opened it by pushing, but was stymied in my polite intentions by the understanding that I was in the way and now had to go through the door before the person I’d made the effort for.

If I’d had an optic blast, that door would’ve ceased to exist.


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