If you needed proof that perfect things exist, my spirit dog is a Leonberger.

And that’s a year. A whole year since I switched from being an unqualified (and frankly poor) barista back into the familiar environs of television. Back to the world of broadcast scheduling, regular meetings, corporate manoeuvring and too many departments to remember. Reflecting back on my first day of work, I had virtually nothing to do. There was some introductory training for an hour or two, meetings that meant nothing to me, then I was asked to find a picture that represented my spirit dog. Nailed it.

After a short burst of training it was straight into trial by fire. Given I started just prior to Christmas, we launched almost directly into double work with advanced logs. With minimal knowledge I did the best I could to basically not be in the way. When we kicked back into the regular schedule I didn’t really know what to do with all my spare time. The internet helped.

In one year our team of 11 has shrunk down to 9. Two departmental transfers, two maternity leaves, but with the arrival of a new manager. In January our team shrinks back down to 7 as the short term maternity leave they hired expires. We’re still doing the work of 11 people. Fun times.

I protest too much. It can get busy, but I’m altogether not overworked and the company gives back in spades. The benefits are absurd. Flat out ridiculous. Unlimited physio means my body is moving better than it possibly ever has. Regular dental check-ups have my teeth feeling strong and smooth. I’ve gotten a knee brace, orthotic inserts and a night guard without paying a cent. For the first time in my life, allergy medication is accessible (and free). Breathing normally was previously nothing but a dream. Now I’m living it. I went through therapy, helping me deal with callused internalised issues. Hell, it even includes travel insurance, just in case something goes wrong abroad. The level of stability, both financially and health-wise, are immensely helpful in getting up every day without a brooding attitude.

The company tries to maintain a positive working environment too. For our last holiday party they rented out the Toronto Aquarium, we went on a team building outing with axe throwing, pizza and alcohol (a conspicuous combination). For Christmas, we were given a Ferris Bueller’s Day Off card. Simple, but brilliant, we could cash it in for one free day off if we ever felt like not coming in. There are lunches, accessible further education and mentorship programs. Our manager meets with us twice a year to help us move towards company-wide goals, opening up doors for us to stretch for positions we’d be otherwise clueless to reach.

Therein lies my main issue right now. I’ve done what I need to within this position. I can do it without sweat, but it’s stopped being particularly interesting for me. I love the company, they’ve been great to me and I want to stay here. What I need is to figure out what I want and how to move towards it. I’ve been offered opportunities but through my own laziness or complacency I’ve let them pass by. Do I take what writing experience I have, learn a little HTML/Photoshop and try to find an editor position? Do I get back in contact with audio production, sacrifice my nights to upskill and hope a role comes up faster than the usual 7 year turnaround? If not I’m just sitting with my dick in hand, waiting like a chump. Promo production is an awesome area I’ve always been fascinated by, but I haven’t leaned in. We work with them regularly. Again, it’d probably involve sacrificing evenings in order to get some experience. That sounds like an easier burden to announce than practice.

I’m one year in and I’m happy, but will I still be saying the same thing next November 24th?

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