Would it be poor taste to create a money lending company named Shabbat Shaloans?

Have you done your civic duty as a member of capitalist society today? It’s weird how in Canada it’s not even Thanksgiving (ours is in October), but we’re in the habit of adopting American traditions. Hence Black Friday has crossed the border into our shops, hearts, minds and wallets. I did my part and ordered a stack of Magic the Gathering cards I’d been eyeing up for some time (what’s the matter. None of you seem as excited about that as I am for some reason). Unfortunately I couldn’t seem to find any flights to Portland, but hey, that’s what Cyber Monday is for. These folks thought of everything. If this holiday tradition continues, we’ll end up with some form of financial Hanukkah by 2020. 8 days of savings to keep the fires of desire burning away all our money. Then we’ll have some kind of yuppie Yom Kippur to celebrate how kipoor we all are. Oh boy, goys!

I’m basically just killing time at work now. It’s been a long, frustrating day dealing with fallout from our new software and I’m ready to relax for the night. First up is the beginning of Blood in the Snow, a film festival celebrating the jewels of contemporary Canadian horror. I won tickets to Farhope Tower, chronicling the madcap misadventures of a bunch of fun lovin’ paranormal investigators hoping to film a TV pilot for a quick buck. Too bad they chose Farhope Tower, the renown site of untold numbers of suicides. It sounds like things go batshit in a short order as sanity unravels the higher they climb. Shenanigans abound! To be honest though, it looks absurdly fun and hopefully very graphic, because I’m in that kind of mood.

Because I’m that hip hop happening of an individual, I’ve got further plans. What did you think I was? Some kind of rube? Common? Pedestrian? Yeah I’ve got further plans. Cameron Esposito is in town and I’d be some lowly schmuck if I didn’t head along to see her. She’s a tiny person packed full of energy. Man, I’m so shitty at describing things, why did I ever decide writing was a thing I wanted to do? I swear I was this close (you can’t see me (I hope. Creepiness abounds) but I was holding the index finger and thumb of my right hand in near proximity (no, not while I was typing that sentence, but afterwards. Maybe for a second. No shit, I really took a second or two out of my writing to make that gesture (and not just so I’d be able to write about it), because I have that little to do aside from make asides within my asides) to illustrate how close I was) to writing the words “lesbian energy” before I realised that’d be a terrible idea and it’d make me a terrible person. Now that you know that I was thinking it, you understand that I’m a terrible person anyway. Cameron Esposito isn’t in the slightest though, so I’m delighted to go see her perform at Comedy Bar tonight.

For some reason today I was thinking about gay marriage and how often people call it “gay marriage” because it’s such a recent advancement. In reality though, it’s just marriage, not gaymarriage. The couple would happen to be gay, but the marriage is no different from any other. Once again, just a marriage. Because of this ambiguity though, I’ve been giggling at the idea of people calling the whole ordeal “gay marriage” and people asking each for other’s hands in just that manner.

“Hey Steve, would you do the honour of gay marrying me?” “JUST GOT GAY MARRIED”, etc. It sounds adorable. Or I’m a dork. But not adorkable.


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