De La Soul were right. Three IS a magic number.

Please don’t take this post as some kind of ill-advised braggadocio. I’ve got no desire to engage in any kind of metaphorical dick swinging. The sole purpose of this post is to impart perspective on why last night was such a fulfilling, sex positive experience.

Last night my girlfriend and I participated in a threesome. It wasn’t our first, but it was one to remember.

There was no seduction or heavy handed flirting. We’d simply been at a “wear what makes you feel sexy” party, hanging out in a hallway (the second-most popular location after kitchens) and chatting to a fellow partygoer. We’d had a great conversation about calling in/out, the notion of when/how to interject or help in public situations and how to know the difference between being useful or taking up space. Within the tight quarters of the two walls, the conversation had meshed with the fact that we were all in various states of undress to become close, intimate. It was animated, a little silly. I’d tried to learn how to twerk while this gal and my girlfriend (oft’ dubbed “The Queen of White Girl Twerk”) gave tips. All a little tipsy, we soon moved from out of the hallway into the lounge and grinding started happening. The suggestion was raised that we found somewhere more intimate and everyone was in agreement. We cabbed back to my girlfriend’s place and got cosy. As has become custom in my girlfriend’s room, I stripped down to my underwear. Both of my companions followed suit (birthday suit?).

We sat down on the bed in a circle and my girlfriend took the lead. Did anyone have any questions or concerns? Was there anything we thought the others should know? Was there any way that people preferred not to be touched? Any way that anyone wanted to be touched? I stated that there was no wrong time to pause, that checking in at any time was welcome behaviour. The comfort of all participants was paramount and it was okay to give voice to doubts that arose. Our companion said she was pretty open to most things, but at that stage she was leaving anal off the table. My girlfriend intimated that while her and I are fluid bonded (no condoms), if penetration was gonna happen between myself and this other girl that we were to use condoms. We took things in stages and slowly worked up the scale. Did she want to be touched? Kissed? Touched in more intimate areas?

Having vocalised our needs and wants, everything after that flowed organically. One of the most beautiful qualities was the collaboration. Everyone was on board to help one another enjoy themselves as much as possible. We took turns with the others focusing on pleasuring whomever was in the middle. There was desire, affection and vivid intimacy. There was no hierarchy, no competing status. We concentrated on building a caring yet passionate space, making each other feel valued and gratified. By the time we’d all put our hands and mouths all over each other, everyone felt flush, tired but deeply satisfied. We snuggled together in the afterglow and drifted off to sleep.

I find that the most understated part of a group sex experience like this is that connection you’ve crafted. Waking up in the morning to others in bed is nothing short of magical. There’s a bond that feels like you’ve shared a special, private world. The lingering intimacy is a thing of beauty and having experienced it in a truly utilitarian fashion is amazing. Joking around in the morning sun, warm inside and out helps you leave better than you came.

Then again, people did cum pretty spectacularly 😉

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