The strangest thing happened last night. Friday night, 11pm. Girlfriend and I were brushing our teeth. If that seems strange already, keep in mind that we’d just had the unrelenting excess of New Years one night prior. It didn’t feel like a big party night. There were no notions of/desires for debauchery. The intention was to chill out in one another’s company and keep things quiet. So we brushed our teeth. We were supposed to have attended a friend’s post New Years veg out, but they hadn’t checked their phone and I felt weird about appearing at their door without enthusiastic prior consent. For all I knew, the event wasn’t even happening.
See, we’d already spent the day affixed in front of screens. At our New Years event, we all lazed in front of the tube with old Kevin Smith movies (not my choice, they don’t even come close to having aged well). So we’d already watched two films. Then we got home and saw two episodes of Buffy. Not having fulfilled our plans of inactivity enough, we turned on Frances Ha. Midway through the film, with our phones cast to the side, I got the heads up that my friend’s event was happening and they’d love to see us there. That was at 9.30pm, a time that still would’ve felt reasonable to go out. By 11pm, amidst tooth brushing, it seemed implausible at best. I kind of still wanted to go and started doing the math in my head. If I took public transport I could’ve been there in around 30 minutes. That made midnight the likely arrival time. I didn’t really feel like drinking, but perhaps I’d get two hours of friend catch up time, which did sound enticing. Still, could I be bothered?
The answer was no, but it switched on a lightbulb in my head. If I was awake enough to go off to an event, was I tired enough to hit the sack? I asked my girlfriend are you even tired enough for bed? She looked back bemused “I don’t think so?” I furrowed my brow then why are we getting ready for bed? We finished up, left the bathroom and walked back upstairs. We paused and looked at one another. What the hell were we gonna do? Neither of us felt like watching anything, it was too late to embark on personal projects, we weren’t keen on anything too active. Were we simply going to sleep out of boredom and a lack of imagination?
It was peculiar. Here we were, two creative and energetic people stuck in an evening rut that wasn’t uncomfortable, but confounding to us both. It wasn’t a scenario we’d faced before. Usually we’d just watch something or have sex, but we’d kind of done enough of that in the preceding hours. We jumped on the internet in the hopes of some online board game popping out to occupy us. Nothing sparked to a flame. We googled “boredom busters” but tapped out when it suggested information sites for pregnant mothers.
We fell back on our other strength: communication. Looking up “questions to ask a girl/guy” (it’s not like we don’t know how to talk, but we were coming off a day of pseudo hangover), we found some teen magazine fare and let rip. We had some fun checking our star sign compatibility, Myers Briggs types, etc. The questions were dumb and simple, but at the same time it brought home how rarely we dived into the surface stuff. Extended family, childhood experiences, date days we’d love to do. Drained as we were, it was borderline intoxicating just hearing each other talk unfettered by any agenda.
In a relationship you spend so much time around someone else, but it constantly surprises me how much depth there seems to be to a person. No matter how much I uncover about this woman, there always seems to be more I want to know. I want to intimately understand the person she was before we crossed paths in order to find a greater appreciation of who she is now. When she talks or asks questions, she comes at conversation from angles that don’t appear in my brain. It makes me see the world in ways I never could. No matter how mundane our surroundings are, with her they feel anything but. My life seems more rounded, wider, but closer. She adds another dimension to my existence and I only hope I’m helping hers expand in the same fashion. If this is what love is, what it’s capable of, then I’m in. I’m all in. If she makes me feel this way at midnight on a quiet Friday, well goddamn.
That’s the kind of person I want to see when I wake.