Let’s see how he enjoys my rye sense of humour.

I feel like there are other topics I could actually delve into, but who am I to stand in the way of unstoppable momentum? May the sorrow continue!


  • Why Alan Rickman, why? To be honest, this wasn’t a huge deal for me. He was a great actor whose projects I had no real personal connection to. It sucks that someone talented who was overwhelmingly considered to be a lovely person is no longer with us. The thing that really turns this into a liquid shithouse is that it was Mr Rickman who passed away and not Mr Smash Mouth.
  • I didn’t sleep well last night. Or would it be more accurate to say I didn’t sleep lots. This not only had the outcome of making me sad, but also slightly loony. My trouble with sleep has always been a matter of powering down. If I wake up in the middle of the night and start thinking it’s supremely difficult to switch off and go back to sleep. Then I’m stuck silently wishing for slumber or the final sleep, whichever comes first. I wasn’t even thinking about profound things last night. I’ve been stressed lately and somehow my brain has manifested that stress as an inability to quit. Multiple times during the night I lay awake with my eyes closed for upwards of 20-30 minutes with a series of colours, shapes and abstract concepts rebounding off one another up in my dome. My sixth or seventh wakeful period occurred just after 5.30am. Try as I might, after an hour+ of praying for the divine touch of unconsciousness, I opened my eyes and looked at my phone. The Pocket Mortys app dropped today and I decided that if my mind was already overstimulated doing nothing, I might as well harness that for a Rick and Morty/Pokémon hybrid. This was probably the best thing that happened all day. It’s a free app, people. Catch ’em all.
  • I had enough coffee to keep me conscious (bless that large four shot mocha this morning), but it didn’t stop my eyes from hurting. Have you ever had the feeling of pressure all around your eyes? That transcendent sensation that makes living feel like a chore? It’s doubleplus unfun.
  • I came home to a “notice of inspection” infringement thing in my mailbox. Apparently because of the 5cm layer of snow I’d failed to clear from my sidewalk, the council deemed my actions hazardous to the neighbourhood. They said they’d be back 12 hours later to check that I’d corrected my grievous error, otherwise I could face a potential court summons. For not shovelling/salting my sidewalk. All 5cm of soft snow. It wasn’t cold enough to be icy, but still a big deal. Wanna know the shit thing? I hadn’t even been home. This happened while I was staying at my girlfriend’s house, so there was nothing I could’ve done about it whatsoever. Thankfully they didn’t do a follow up inspection and I took care of it as I would’ve had I been home at the time. Unnecessary.
  • A friend pointed out that this concert exists. Little in my life has made me feel so impotent, so feeble and helpless as not having the time/funds to book a short holiday at the end of the month to Prior Lake, Minnesota. Would they even have enough bakeries in the town to arm me? Dear Mr Smash Mouth: It’s not the world that’s gonna roll you, it’s me. As soon as I find a viable concert/bakery, I’m coming at ya with focaccia!

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