In the most important pop-cultural news you’re gonna hear all day (including all things farting boner corpse-y), The Air Bud Pawdcast now has a producer. No longer relegated to the realm of my many espresso induced fever dreams, my dreams of spending upwards of 30 minutes to an hour talking about the the insanity inherent to the cinematic adventures of a golden retriever with a predilection for unwieldy sporting pursuits is coming to a cold, hard reality near you. Just think, your humble (as if) protagonist (that was faster than expected) will soon be co-helming one of the most important theatrical ventures this side of the Jumanji reboot. Haven’t you always wondered whether a golden retriever possesses the necessary grip strength and speed of head tilt to successfully play baseball? Would its low centre of gravity make it the Oddjob of the base stealing world? How exactly does a director establish compelling character convictions with a protagonist whose central motivations are pure id?
Frankly, I have nothing but questions for both the franchise and this whole enterprise. Primarily because I haven’t seen a single Air Bud film yet. Also because I tend to talk about things a bunch without doing anything about them. This could be one of the first times I’ve done something I’ve thought of, and by talking about it, no less. I have so many ideas that the hardest part will be paring them down to just the good ones. Keep It Simple Stupid will be my mantra, alongside Always Be Closing. Coffee is for Closers after all and without coffee I wouldn’t have come up with this concept.
Really though, the exciting part for me is blending two of my favourite types of humour: Gratuitous specificity and applying high art critiques to low art. Taking low brow cultural products to task when they never intended to aim high is a dish best applied with faux seriousness and zero authentic ill-intent. Who better to present such a thing than a bloke who knows nothing about dogs or sports? There’s a significant part of me that’s excited for something to bite into and obsess over. Moreso because I know there’s nothing about this project that matters one iota. What better to funnel effort and genuine enthusiasm into than an endeavour with zero stakes and an endless ceiling. The fact that my impetus was the idea of a rigid dog doing back handsprings makes my heart do flips of its own.
All I can ask is that you, dear reader (and soon to be listener, naturally) keep checking in. Keep me accountable and as a reward you will receive more dog/sports puns than your body has room for.
I’d spike the mic, but frankly that’s a job better left for the dawg himself.