I know there are so many sports left untouched, but the title popped into my head and I couldn’t not.
NARR: For a dog, Football was a tough sport to tackle.
COACH: He’s a golden receiver!
NARR: But when the Framm family uproots from Fernfield…
JACKIE: I know things are different in this Hassidic community Josh, but I needed the job.
NARR: Buddy has to make a conversion like never before.
JOSH: I know we need to become Jewish, mum, but Buddy’s a dog.
JACKIE: He may be a dog, but he’s turning 13 in a month.
NARR: In order to stay with his family, he’s gotta have a Bark Mitzvah.
MUSIC – THE BEATLES: HEY JUDE (jewed)
Josh: I know you wanna go play ball Buddy, but you’ve gotta study.
Buddy: [Bark bark]
Josh: That’s good, now finish the sentence: Bark atah adonai.
NARR: And he’s about to tallit like it is.
RABBI: Oy Vey. A dog in a yarmulke? Vat’s next? The pope?
JOSH: I know it’s called a torah portion, but you can’t lick the paper.
NARR: They’ll face stiff opposition from the local community.
JEW: I mean sure, he’s a good boy. I’m just worried that he’s merely a good goy.
JOSH: Don’t the ten commandments begin, “I am the lord your dog?”
NARR: But Buddy’s gonna prove that he’s a kippah.
DODGY GUY: You got balls mutt. You ever thought about the underground dreidel circuit?
MUSIC – GWEN STEFANI: (c)HOLLABACK GIRL
NARR: This summer, America’s Golden Boy is about to become America’s Golden Man.
JACKIE: Uhh Josh. I might have some bad news. Buddy was never circumcised.
JOSH: Oh no! Not Buddy’s stubby.
NARR: Disney presents – Air Bud: Fiddler on the Woof.