Gordon, for the record, not Morgan.

I’m exhausted. The cat went bonkers at the wee hours of the morning and the lack of sleep has sapped my mental faculties enough that I’m using words like “bonkers” and acting like that’s NBD.

So let’s keep things simple and bullet point everywhere up in this bitch. What were some things that happened today?

  • I forgot my scan pass at home. This meant I couldn’t scan myself onto the elevators. I’d instead have to loiter in the lobby until someone came along and scanned themselves up. I’d then casually press my floor number. It felt like I was grounded and wasn’t allowed to go anywhere fun without a parental chaperone. Did I want to go upstairs to fill up my water bottle or grab coffee? Not on my own, so help me. Going out to grab lunch? Well I’d need to borrow a co-worker’s scan pass. It meant I had to be intentional about something I never even think about. Usually this pass is attached to my hip by one of those twiddly extension things. I still have the twitch response. Every time I walked onto an elevator I’d automatically reach down to grab/twiddle it. Instead I grabbed air. Cruel, empty air.
  • I woke up with the arch of my foot throbbing. Apparently all the grumbling my physio did about my lack of stretching had basis in consequence. It’s not entirely fair, I’ve been making sure to do active mobility pre-run and static stretching post-run (occasionally).While I thought the issue was karma, it turned out one of my physios saw it as mild planar fasciitis. We took a passive session to work through this ball of pain. White hot pain. Then he pulled out the ultrasound gun. The safe range was from about 2.0 to 3.0. We started at 2.0 and got to around 2.5 without issue. The gun hammered away with this “chugga chugga” sound, causing pain whenever it got too close to a bone. Apparently that sensation is a sort of feedback, when the waves hitting the bone rebound back into the oncoming waves. Or at least that’s my non-scientific take on the polysyllabic words he used. So I’ve got one or two days in which he says I should take the running easy. So I’ll try not to dash for too many pokémon.
  • Speaking of which, two snorlaxes ran away from me today. I had them chewing on delicious razz berries, threw my great balls (item, not scrotum), they took one look at captivity and bolted. I don’t know how a snorlax, ripped as it is, managed to bolt so fast. Still, I am a pillar of sadness. Yes, I have two snorlax already, which I’m grateful for (one of which may be the reason for my planar fasciitis. I ran over a kilometre for that one). I however seek a team of six snorlax for gym dominance purposes. I need a team that goes along with my kigurumi.
  • Today at our weekly 2pm meeting.

    Coworker: Did I hear correctly that they’re making Supergirl play baseball this season?
    Me: I just watched Air Bud Seventh Inning Fetch. Are you sure that’s not what you’re thinking of?
    Coworker: No, I swear I overheard she’s doing baseball.
    Strategy: You’re thinking of Pitch, our new drama about the first female MLB pitcher.
    Coworker: I thought she was doing baseball. Like one of those kitschy 60s super hero shows.
    Me: I think the show you’re looking for is “A Justice League of Their Own.”
    Meeting Room: *Applause*

Okay, time to go out for friend and sushi time. Best thing? I don’t need no scan card or parental chaperones. I’M A FREE MAN.


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