I guess Warner Bros isn’t about to sponsor us any time soon.

So what’s happening brothas? It’s a recording day, so I have to bide time after work before heading down to the waterfront to record. Why not take this excuse to ramble on about the everyday stuff going on in my world. I BET THAT’LL BE FASCINATING.

It probably won’t, but there’s an outsider chance, surely. Right place, right time? Perhaps I’ll say something that hits you at the perfect moment of planetary alignment and will forever bind you to my side. Maybe I’ll create a lifelong fan. Or enemy, even. How do we know unless we try?

Firstly, I can’t stop eating. This isn’t a new phenomenon, but I feel like it’s kicked into high gear lately. Because of the perfect confluence of pokémon and Tough Mudder training, I jogged to and from work yesterday, then went out for another jog at 11pm. I think I did around 15km in total. This morning I was a bit achy, but I jogged to work once more. I did gym stuff both days too. What this means (aside from shameless and frankly unbecoming gloating about my level of physical activity (which nobody else should give a shit about)), is that my body needs more food to burn. It’s getting absurd. Today’s tally so far has involved two bananas, an apple, an orange, a bowl of porridge, a handful of almonds, half a large sausage, my usual $5 chicken and three salads lunch combo and a yoghurt/fruit cup. I always crave food (I spend most of each meal thinking about what to eat for my next meal), but my body right now is indiscriminate. FEED ME SEYMOUR it howls. So I comply. My only fear is that this quest for protein escalates to cannibalism. It could happen. I’ll do my best not to season my food with bath salts.

I realise how dumb this is, but I’ve been irrationally excited about the stream of early reviews for Suicide Squad. Ever since the first trailer rolled out, I saw an oncoming steaming pile of shit. Something has bothered me about it since day one, whether it was The Joker’s “damaged” tattoo or the intentional #soedgy vibe running like a current throughout the marketing campaign. The idea that snazzy editing on a few trailers could disguise a clumsy turd nugget of the silver screen desperately apeing after Marvel’s grasp of the cinematic landscape. I wanted it to be bad. I wanted it to contribute to DC’s Mount Olympus of filmic shame alongside The Green Lantern and Batman Five Superman. It looks like I got my wish.

Delving deeper into this, however, reveals that it’s little more than pre-existing bias coming to the fore. I grew up in the 90s when everything was adversarial. You were a Sega kid or a Nintendo kid. You loved Marvel or DC. These pop culture juggernauts were pitted in an endless war waged by their fanbases. I got sucked into this bizarre tribal affiliation and firmly staked my flag into Marvel soil. Now seeing the dominance of Marvel over DC fills me with a petty and (in many ways sad) glee. You know what? I hold Jared Leto in disdain for no reason I can fathom. There’s something about that guy that seems smarmy and charmless and I can’t put my finger on it. I haven’t had any particularly negative experiences with his film and I haven’t followed his professional spotlight enough to form an informed opinion. Still, I don’t like that dude. It makes no sense.

I can’t even say that there’s any great result out of the movie being an apparent crapfest. Do I get to say “I told you so” in any meaningful form? Is that it? Is this me sticking my middle finger up in regards to Big Blockbuster, DC and its pervasive, ham-fisted marketing campaign? Where does that get me? How does that advance my situation whatsoever? Arbitrary hatred is dumb and I’m an idiot for letting it get the better of me. We all know it’s gonna kill at the box office anyway, so what does it matter?

Anyway, it’s about time I have dinner. Because I haven’t eaten enough today, clearly. I’ve got another episode of the Pawdcast to record.

(Oh, and a shameless plug for episode four of The Air Bud Pawdcast, released today)


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