It must be all those weedles I’ve been catching lately.

The weather outside is frightful. The only thing prohibiting me from calling it a literal shitstorm is the fact that faeces isn’t raining from the skies. Outside is vacillating between hot and cold, but dedicated to the muggy lyfe. Today has seen both beaming sunshine and thunderstorms wet enough to flood the gutters. In short, being outside isn’t worth it and my air conditioning is worthy of deification right now.

This is one of those nights where I wish weed would just be legalised already. I don’t tend to talk about marijuana much here, mainly ’cause I’m a very occasional partaker. I’m a casual listener, I don’t know the discography by heart. It’s the kind of thing I’d do maybe a handful of times a year and only a puff or two. The feeling of smoking is pretty unpleasant. I’m a lightweight and as such, indicating that it’s part of my identity would make me a poser at best. Still, having a gummy or candy around on a night like tonight would be great. I’m tired and groggy. I can’t think of any aspirations grander than eating comfort food in front of silly, lightweight programming. My evening plans are basically stoner 101 anyway. Why not veg out with a substance that makes me feel squishy and comfortable?

It’s not like I’ve even had a gruelling day. I got up early and ran out to catch a lapras.  I saw a guy across the road going for it too. Catching it, I discovered it had cp 1649 with IVs of 91%, which is pretty great. Its moveset is unfortunately, hot garbage. Pretty much the worst lapras moveset possible. Net result, I’m still pretty stoked. I celebrated by taking down a bunch of gyms (just to help clear the neighbourhood infestation of those Gryffindor motherfuckers Team Valor). Unfortunately it was before my daily counter could update and now every local gym is beyond my reach. Big time bummer.

I finished off BoJack Horseman season three, then a friend came over to play Magic. We hung out, listened to some retrowave he’d recently gotten into (in his words, like a heavy synth John Carpenter soundtrack), played cards, made a pizza, then parted ways. Like I said, not a gruelling day.

Now imagine that after a weed candy. Imagine the excitement of finding that lapras, seeing its mystery “??” cp and wondering just how strong it’d be. Watching the pokéball tremble, seeing it break out time and time again. Each throw, ratcheting up the tension over whether it would run or not. Imagine the glee and satisfaction when I finally did, when those numbers revealed themselves. Imagine how victorious I’d feel stomping out local gyms, staking my claim for Team Instinct (yeah, I wanted to go Mystic but felt bad for not supporting the underdog). Pretty damn fun, I’d say.

Imagine chilling out with my friend under the heightened influence of the gummy. We’d joke together, get wrapped up so much more in the game. The music would feel more pronounced. The flavours and textures of the pizza would stand out all the more. With no pressures or responsibilities in the situation, we could’ve just chilled under the influence.

Does that really sound like a menace to society?

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