That was nothing if not a cheap shot.

There was a crossbow killing today in Toronto. Let’s file this one under bizarre, fucked up and more than a little bit compelling. I mean, this is Toronto, not the city Chester in northwestern England. What sounds like a family dispute (that police are linking to a mysterious box) ended up with someone going medieval on three people. That’s horrifying. It’s also not the only awful thing going on in our fair city. A former Degrassi High actor (minor part) was found guilty of child pornography and animal abuse offences. Jeeeeysus. A pretty rotten day. Also it rained briefly and my bus didn’t stop, meaning I had to wait for several minutes more than I would’ve otherwise. Things are clearly going from bad to worse.

Obviously I’m jesting mostly. These two news items, while being terrible, are so far out of my sphere of influence that it’s hard for them to rise beyond macabre oddities into something tangible. I had a mild headache and iffy throat most of the day, which left my evening plans of podcast editing feeling rather undesirable. I did it, because if I don’t keep up I’m gonna fall behind deadlines and release dates. We’re starting to stack up guests and getting ready for the madness of September. TIFF, Tough Mudder and JFL42? Plus we’re front-loading the month with podcast recordings so we don’t need to record during JFL42 (though I guess that means I’ve got a week of double edit duty somewhere in there? Egads). The episodes are getting sillier as we’re going along. As the films become less palatable, our attention shortens and the hour increasingly becomes a series of tangents. It’s as if we’re trying to distract ourselves from the sad reality that we’ve committed a serious number of hours to a meaningless project revolving around kids’ movies. This is our life now. Oh, did I mention that I co-host an Air Bud Pawdcast? I assumed I’d ranted about it enough by now, but if you’re curious, was somehow not taken.

I dunno. Today’s been lost to a funk of some kind. My juju has been off. Feng shui all akimbo. I’ve been putting out energy, intent or what have you, but it’s been falling flat. Take these two posts:

“Do you think in England they grow up watching Bill Nighy the Science Gighy?”


“I’ve realised that I say “No Worries” very often, but “Hakuna Matata” very rarely. I think I might have commitment issues.”

I thought they were pretty funny. I wrote them in my head and had a sensible chuckle to myself. I let them spill to Facebook and got slightly more than zero response. Am I bitter and resentful that these obviously half-baked jokes didn’t land? Maybe a little. Is it a big deal? Not in the slightest. Was it straight up that they weren’t that good? It’s not like they were particularly clever or anything. Was it a matter of poor wording? Or not posting them at the right time? Or maybe I needed to workshop them a little more. Do some punch-up. Perhaps fix them with some ADR?

Or just, y’know, make better ones? If I want to kill, my jokes need to be a lot sharper.

What else am I gonna do? Resort to a crossbow?


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