Yes, working title was an intentional pun. Do you even know me by now?

New office, new me! We moved halfway across town and today was my first day settling into the new location. I set my alarm bright and early and woke at the ungodly hour of 7:30am (as opposed to my previous wake up time of 8am). I promptly fell back asleep and woke up at 8.20am. Shit.

Not one to panic, I considered my options. I could have a shower, skip the sit-down breakfast at home, grab a coffee and sandwich from the local cafe then brush my teeth at work. Bam, right to plan. Even getting a little lost at union station, I made it to work maybe five minutes late. Smooth like butter. The bus even turned right into our work driveway and dropped us off at the door. In the words of people who play/watch cricket, HOWZAT?

I roamed around our assigned floor, once again lost. I followed the breadcrumbs of seat assignments and numbers to find my team. Tucked in next to the kitchen, bathroom and close to the inner atrium of the building, it’s a handy spot. My personal desk assignment is even better. Most desks were laid out in couples. Two desks side by side within a bordered unit. I’ve got my own area. It’s sequestered, cosy and it’s all mine. It’s a veritable fort, protected on three sides (except for my exposed hide). All I need is a moat and some crocodiles then I’ll be in business. First order of business was assembling my desk trinkets. The little Drogon funko, Bumblebee (movie version, not classic) and my talking Tommy Wiseau bobblehead. Fort Leon was assembled. It’s a working title, we’ll brainstorm something better on the morrow.

With my desk set up, it was time to get to work. Of course that’s not what I did. I went roaming. I needed to know my surroundings if I was gonna be the coolest kid in school. I quickly found a few of my friends, all handily close. As I wandered, I became very aware of the visual hierarchy. Status was seemingly conferred by desk size and location. The less important you were, the more likely you were to share desk space or possess a smaller desk. As your rank ascended, your desk increased in size. You also got closer to windows. This all seems kind of obvious, but it was even more obvious to see. Especially as our office is right on the waterfront. It’s an open plan floor, but management have desks twice as large with lake views. If anything made me feel amazingly insignificant on my first day, it was that. Go go gadget, team morale!

Our office also has a huge spiralling slide in the atrium. As far as we knew, the slide was off limits. On closer inspection, a co-worker noticed the gate to the slide was open and the light next to it was green. Not looking a gift slide in the mouth, we took Goo Goo Dolls’ advice and ran for it. It was far faster than we’d expected, and the squeak of our shoes informed us why the interior of the white slide was streaked with black. Hella fun. Then after we’d finished, we noticed the light had turned red, as it stayed for hours afterwards. No regrets.

I’d heard tales of how terrible the coffee was, but was delighted to discover Reunion Island coffee in the kitchen. I chatted with the custodian who said it’d been his personal mission to switch over from the much maligned Timothy’s Coffee. He thanked me for my feedback and said he’d double down in his efforts. Making change on the first day! Getting shit done! Eventually that included actual work. But who expected me to have my nose to the grindstone on the first day?

Not my boss, who wandered over to the team around 2pm and told us to leave as soon as we’d finished our work, to get out early for Thanksgiving weekend. The new place may be out of the way and somewhat inconvenient, but I’d be fucked if that wasn’t a great first day.

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