I’m pretty wiped right now, so in lieu of anything insightful (as if that were the norm or something) or interesting, here are a few words in certain arrangements:
- My legs are shot. I’m undecided whether this is a positive development or not. Positive, because I worked them pretty hard on Monday. If my body manages to regenerate the damaged tissue, I’ll no doubt be hefty enough to juggle cars. If I’m in this much pain, I obviously worked to a super human degree. If my *walking* is reduced to a slow shuffle, it must be because the muscles have retreated to chrysalis-esque pods, hiding their eventual potential. They’ll burst out when I need them most for some feat of heroism. It’ll be worth the borderline limp I’m rocking at present. Why I flopped around a Body Attack class trying in vain to look competent. My butt feels like it’s gonna collapse, these buns of steel underneath proving too much for my feeble skin sacs to contain. It can only be a great thing, definitely. There’s no other reason I’d be suffering. It has been ordained. Just you wait.
- I got my Fleet Foxes ticket today through a pre-sale. It’s great news, it really is. While ordering though, I couldn’t believe how quickly available seats had been snapped up. I’ve heard rumblings that Toronto is plagued by virulent scalping bots, but until today I didn’t understand the magnitude (Pop Pop) of the issue. I ordered perhaps 20 minutes after they’d become available and options were pretty slim. After being allocated tickets far back and hugging the left side of Massey Hall, I took another spin on the “best available” selector and was very luckily given a prime location (ordering a single ticket does have its advantages). It’s a bummer. It’s not good enough that I’ll be fine, what about all the big fans (it’s been six years since “Helplessness Blues”) that’ll likely be singing their own helplessness blues) who’ll miss out? All because a few shitlords want to take advantage of the system? I don’t know what the answer is. Do more Toronto ticket sites need captcha? A four ticket limit per order? A vial of blood extracted from each purchaser? Hopefully this survey garners helpful tips.
- It may well have hit nine degrees today. I saw some dude on the subway in jandals. I wish I had that much confidence about anything in my life.
- During today’s Body Attack class we did a bunch of squats. Thing is, I really needed to fart. It unfortunately wasn’t as simple as being ashamed of releasing gas. These were farts barely discernible from the next stage of evolution. I was mortified that if I gave them the credence to run free, I’d free the runs. So not only was I hobbling around with my chrysalis stumps, but I was striving to hold in my lunch. “Body Attack” could not have been a more apt name.
- For the first time in mind-bogglingly long, I’ve assembled a fresh salad for dinner tonight. I’m ashamed to admit I don’t know how to make a simple olive oil vinaigrette salad dressing by heart. Sure, Google is quick and easy, but isn’t there merit in knowing things without the need to look them up? I bet Jandals in Nine Degrees Dude knows how to make one from memory. Dick. I bet he scalps tickets too.