It’s Earth Day tomorrow! Don’t let the exclamation mark fool you, I’m having trouble mustering up enthusiasm for the holiday. It’s not that I don’t care about our dear Mother Earth, but I’m unused to offering her much thought in my day to day (I’m sure my blood mother probably feels the same). I mean, it’s also the National Day of Puppetry, which is neat. Plus International Marconi Day, which feels far more important. He did pioneer long distance radio transmission, which ties directly into the career I loved the most. Why isn’t International Marconi Day a bigger deal? Does the Earth think the universe revolves around it or something? So how to celebrate…
How about a playlist?
- Ben Harper – “Ground on Down”
- Pink Floyd – “Mother”
- David Bowie – “Dust to Dust”
- Foo Fighters – “Enough Space”
- The Beatles – “Revolution 9”
- Joy Division – “Atmosphere”
- Grizzly Bear – “Deep Blue Sea”
- Animal Collective – “Grass”
- The Flaming Lips – “Do You Realize??”
Well that would fill all of 40 minutes. How else could I celebrate? I could…
- Plant a tree.
- Mow the lawn.
- Uproot those annoying plants in my backyard.
- Stare once again at the pile of dead trees that’s been amassing for years in my carport, gradually forcing the fence to budge. Do nothing about it for another year.
- Sow salt in the shape of a penis on my neighbour’s lawn.
- Make a mudcake.
- Marathon the BBC series Planet Earth.
- Repeatedly hit the sidewalk with a sledgehammer as vengeance for the planet.
- Think twice about reducing the rubbish I output on a daily basis. Fail to think a third time.
- Reuse a single tissue 17 times.
- Recycle any Earth Hour jokes I made last year.
- Shed a tear thinking of the musician Seal trapped in one of those plastic six pack rings. A tear of laughter.
But instead I’m gonna play Call of Cthulhu and maybe listen to the radio instead. Sorry Mum.