Too bad there were no Good VibraSHUNS.

NEVER FORGET. Unless you never knew. In which case, LEARN AND REMEMBER.

I think it’s pretty important that people don’t forget what a piece of shit Mark Wahlberg is. At the age of 15, little Marky Mark followed a group of black schoolgirls on a field trip and threw rocks at them, shouting racial epithets. At the age of 16 he perpetrated two Vietnamese men on the same night. Total strangers. He bashed the first over the head with a large wooden stick and punched the second in the eye. Marky Mark served all of 45 days of a two year prison sentence and was let out. In 2015 he sought a pardon for this 1988 attack, to have it stricken from his record. Marky Mark is a garbage person and it’s fucking crazy that he has a career. In all honesty it’s probably because he’s white, good looking and successful.

It’s criminally unfair what a raw deal a black person would’ve faced under the same charges. Who do you think the world hates more? Mark Wahlberg or Kanye West? I’ve no doubt in saying Kanye. Kanye possesses a bizarrely entitled grandeur, which would seem almost performance art if it wasn’t so consistent (and I say this as a fan). He’s no doubt arrogant, self-obsessed and an asshole. He runs his mouth off a bunch (which, isn’t always a bad thing) and is more than a tad eccentric. Kanye also has never to my knowledge been arrested for aggravated racial violence. I mean, as far as backgrounds are concerned, Kanye’s a nice college boy. In the court of public opinion though, he’s basically literally hitler. Wahlberg seems to have come off pretty unscathed. Seems at least a little unfair, don’cha think?

Something I learned on the other hand, is that the 1981 movie Roar exists. Melanie Griffith (the most recognisable name) co-starred with her real life parents Noel Marshall (who directed) and Tippi Hedren. That’s not the odd part. The odd part is that this movie was filmed over 11 years. The story of a family being attacked by large numbers of predatory jungle animals. Oh wait, that doesn’t sound batshit insane yet? THEY WERE REAL FUCKING ANIMALS AND PEOPLE GOT LEGIT MAULED. At least 70 members of the cast and crew were injured, with many sustaining LIFE THREATENING INJURIES. Take a second to appreciate this excerpt from Wikipedia:

Over 70 of the cast and crew were injured during the production of this film. Cinematographer Jan de Bont had his scalp lifted by a lion, resulting in 220 stitches. Tippi Hedren received a fractured leg and also had scalp wounds. This occurred after an elephant bucked her off its back while she was riding it. She was also bitten in the neck by a lion and required 38 stitches. This incident can also be seen in the film.

People got fucked up. Melanie Griffith had 50 stitches in her face and somehow managed to avoid being physically scarred. Noel Marshall got attacked by the lions so often that he developed gangrene. A bunch of the injuries actually made it into the final film. I hope the cast (and cats) had a union. Worst of all, the film went on to be a total critical failure and was never released in the US. I’m still not sure whether or not I want to see the film, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be boring at least. How would that have ever been a good idea?

If only Mark Wahlberg had starred in the film instead. I’m sure “it wouldn’t have went down like it did.”

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