I hope you have a fucking great time, sincerely

Fair warning, I’m gonna talk about some sexy type stuff today. If that’s not your thing, enjoy the rest of the internet until tomorrow. ‘Cause it’s not like there’s anything sexy on there, right?

I haven’t talked about sex in a long time. Why? I’m not entirely sure. It might be that my parents sometimes read, and gosh forbid they know I’m making whoopee. Really though, that’s not it. Am I afraid of tarnishing my image as an irreverent little scamp who makes puns and talks incessantly about 90s pop culture? Not quite. Am I too busy clutching my pearls to type the word “orgasm”. I’m not. Am I constantly scrambling for topics to write about day by day? I am. This however, is not an act of desparation. I had a couple of chats over the weekend, and I feel like I’ve got some stuff that’s worth hearing for some people.

Sex is weird. People are weird, therefore bringing multiple people together to simulate making more people is exponentially weirder. Also sex is tied up in so many bullshit social morasses that it gets tricky to keep your head above the mire. The muck is fine, sex can be wonderfully dirty, and that’s can be great. Not here to yuck anybody’s yums.

I’d wager that socialisation plays into how we feel about sex a lot more than we may think. Sure, the media and advertising shapes a huge amount of our views as to what we find sexy, ways to have sex and what good/bad sex looks like. My guess is it goes a lot further than that. I can’t speak to womens’ experience, but it seems like there’s a gratuitous amount of pressure placed upon image. Hell, I’m listening to a podcast right now where Allie Ward talks to an expert on Beauty Standards (the study of which is called Kalology, apparently). The ins and outs of it are more than a litte absurd, and I’m sure all women know intimately more about the struggle than I do. I’m not here to talk for them. It’s not like men are entirely exempt, and I’m sure Marvel Studios have done wonders in making men feel inadequate too (remember the surprisingly buff Chris Pratt workout pic?). Equality, this is what we’re shooting for, right?

Look at me, vamping like a food blog. What I want to talk about today is partnered orgasm pressure from a male perspective, and how it’s letting us down. Because I don’t think us men talk about it enough. This is also probably gonna be a very het-oriented view. I apologise.

As men we’re often told that our sexual prowess is one of the many things that defines our masculinity. We’re supposed to be virile, dominant, borderline animalistic. Raging horndogs with big ol’ dongs. That’s male sexuality, apparently. If you’re a good partner you fuck good, your partner’s eyes roll back into their head, they cum buckets with ten orgasms, and your sperm is so mighty that your partner instantly has quadruplets. That’s the manly thing to do.

Unsurprisingly, this creates a ton of pressure. Here’s the thing about arousal, it’s all mental. If you’re all stressed about having to be a certain something in the bedroom, there’s a high chance that will affect performance. It’s tricky to get it up and keep it up when you’re anxious about whether you’ll be able to get hard enough. Or if you’ll be able to sustain it. Or if she’ll enjoy it. Or like, what if your dick is weird? Or too small? Or you don’t feel dominant and animalistic? GOOD LUCK, BUDDY.

I’m gonna take the charitable assumption, and guess that whoever I’m talking to wants their partner to have a good time. That most want congress to be a mutually fulfilling, satisfying and pleasurable jaunt. So I’m gonna share something I heard a while back that helped shift my perception.

NOBODY HAS EVER GIVEN ANYBODY AN ORGASM.

It was from famed sex educator and porn star extraordinaire Nina Hartley. She said that orgasms aren’t given, they’re facilitated. You can be the sexiest goddamn entity in the world, you can be physically doing everything you can, you can tap into all your partner’s favourite sensual triggers, and they can still not orgasm. It’s because you’re not making them orgasm, they are.

Remember when I was saying arousal was mental? No matter what you do, if your partner can’t bring themselves to a place where they can let go and access their orgasm, it ain’t comin’. It’s not necessarily because of what you’ve done or haven’t done, but sometimes it’s out of reach for all of us. It happens. Releasing to the point of orgasm isn’t always accessible, and neither does it define the experience. I’ve had many bouts of amazing sex that haven’t resulted in an orgasms, both for myself and/or partners. That hasn’t stopped it from being amazing sex.

Take from it what you will, but the important nugget that I took from this lesson was to get ego the fuck out of there. It’s not about you. The be all and end all is how you can help your partner access a place where they can let go. Any concept of virility or value tied to an ablity to “induce” orgasms is fucked up and unhelpful. Get that shit out of there.

Make your partner comfortable. Ask them what they want. Your “job” is to help them have the experience they’re looking for. They’re connected to their own nerve endings, chances are they have an idea of what makes them feel good. Do you have go to techniques that “always work”? There is no “right” way to do things. Everyone is different. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily apply across the board. Listen to your partner, look for body language and try to interpret what that means. If you don’t know, ask. The socialised notion that we should all “just know” is super fucking harmful, and likely holds so many of us back from more fulfilling experiences. If you’re gonna ruin the moment by showing genuine interest, maybe you both could do better with different people.

If they have an orgasm? Great. If they have ten? Great. If they have an excellent time? That’s what we’re looking for. If we’re all enjoying sex, maybe we won’t be so scared of whether or not it’s happening the “right way”.

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Block-busted. Little Leon Lays down the Law

Children are not the most discerning viewers.

I mean, most viewers are not the most discerning viewers, kids even less so. I remember as a child, being part of a discussion about the Fair Go ad awards with my family. Okay, let’s step back a sec. Fair Go was a TV show about consumer rights, etc. They’d also run annual awards for creative advertising. NZ has always done an excellent job with clever ads, and I’d eerily patriotic about it. So I was a child, and The Adults Were Talking. I heard what they said, then impulsively barged in.

“I think the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers toy ad should win. It’s a toy ad and they show all the toys. The toys look really fun, so it’s a good ad.” I was wrong, perhaps because my metrics were off. At least I gave it some thought.

Like I said, not so discerning. It’s probably why shitty kids movies made to push toys continue to exist. Their audience laps them up without complaining, and it puts adult bums in seats. Then, of course, the real money comes from the toys being sold. Ugly Dolls, Transformers, Trolls 1 and or 2. Plus ça change, eh? That said, here are some movies I thought were shit, even as a non-discerning kid:

Super Mario Bros (1993)

Look, a bunch of these are likely to be video game adaptations. The medium has suffered shitty storytelling, contrived plots and low level talent for years. Sure, gaming is a massive industry now, but in the 90s it wasn’t such an all-encompassing entertainment juggernaut. Super Mario Bros was a big deal. It was the game that people thought of when they heard the words Video Game. The movie, however, was a total fucking shitshow. A bizarre plot where Earth was suffering a planetary overlay from some dinosaur planet. All of the game’s goofy/cute looking monsters were retconned into dinosaurs. Even Yoshi, who may well be a dinosaur already, didn’t fair so well. Look how they massacred my boy.

This film actually had talent involved, but even as a kid I could see the lack of coherence. It just made no fucking sense. And why were goombas so fucking creepy? Did Bob Hoskins actually know what he’d signed up for? Looks like maybe not. I watched it again a few years ago, and may have developed an ironic soft spot that was beyond me at an age where I didn’t know what irony was. Have some drinks and watch, but please leave your expectations behind. Super, it ain’t.

Street Fighter (1994)

As a precocious little seven year old, I guess I was finding my pretention too. This movie was yet another shitshow. Once again, they massacred my boy. Why was US Colonel Guile played by renown non-American, Jean Claude Van Damme? Why did esteemed actor Raul Julia waste his final performance on this piece of arse? I’m not the first to wonder. I hated it, but didn’t know why. I was so thirsty for video game film content that I tried to watch it many many times to see what went wrong. I just kept finding more things. Where were the Hadoukens? Sonic Booms? Shoryukens? Why wouldn’t they just do something awesome and animated (they did. It was awesome. Here’s the entire thing on Youtube)?

Wild Wild West (1999)

This one’s fresh, ’cause I just went to a screening with live commentary by local Toronto drag queen Allysin Chaynes. It was a blast. As a child though, it was a rough movie to watch. Why were all the characters so patently unlikeble? How could a giant mechanical spider be boring? Why was the movie significantly less exciting than the audacious and oftentimes riotous full seven and a half minute music video? Will Smith throws his hat across the room to himself in a full white suit. It’s badass. I think I may even still like the song, especially Neil Cicierega’s brilliant rearrangement. I thought this film was gonna be super cool, and instead it was kinda boring, the jokes didn’t really land. It was a slog.

I watched last night after a bunch of drinks and, egads. It’s fucking terrible. Not only does the script suck, but the characters do too. Salma Hayek is reduced to an accent, pair of boobs and a role as a plot device. The script has an unforgivable amount of racist and ableist jokes. It’s altogether many kinds of hateful. So many non-plot literal devices (it’s steampunk all over) serve no real purpose in the plot. And of course, Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix to play Jim West, which is always notable.

Look, I’m no prodigy. I watched my unfair share of terrible movies. These are just some of the few instances where I realised it.

As Stamos himself would say, Cut It Out

I went to get keys cut at my local corner store.

It’s run by this lovely old Asian couple. Always super friendly and helpful. I don’t know if part of being a local is having a favourite corner store, but this one is mine. The one a few blocks away is probably just as fine. It does have an overabundance of weed accessories, which probably makes the guy a bunch from desperate mobile stoners. Anyway, I asked the guy at my favourite corner store if I could get keys cut and he was like “oh, I’m sorry. My wife does that but she’s not in today. If you come back tomorrow we can do it.” No stress. I asked him if he knew anywhere else I could go today, and he suggested a couple of the “opposition”, other corner stores. I said thanks and left, then I thought. Isn’t it so weird that only the wife does key cutting? It’s not like that’s a remotely gendered job. It might be that there’s a legit reason why he can’t do it, but it’s likely just a disinclination to learn something new. I get that, and I wish I didn’t. I know how tiresome it can be to have to learn new stuff when you can’t be bothered. Presumably though, I’m not the first to walk in on his wife’s day off, and they’ve probably missed out on a bunch of business. How hard is key cutting? Is it super precise? Is there a dangerous element to it? Why this division of labour? Is that more of a relic of times past? Or is it more of a matter of specialisation, that she does things in the store he doesn’t and vice versa?

It’s making me reflect back on my relationship, and our division of labour. There very much is one, and it’s happened over time. Maybe one of us would do something, then the next time the same task emerged, we’d go to the one who did it last time. I’m pretty sure there’s no delineation based on gender grounds, more on perceived proficiency. I tend to do the bulk of the cooking, because I’m more experienced. She’s learned a shit ton over the past few years and does a great job. She really thinks consciously about what she’s doing, whereas I kinda throw things together and assume they’ll work out. I like the process and getting stuff done. I feel satisfaction when everything comes together, especially if I can do that for someone else. My partner also likes cooking, but she does a lot less of it. Maybe partially because I’m so quick to jump in for it. But also because there’s this idea embedded into our kitchen habits that I’m just faster at everything, so oftentimes it’ll end up in my hands. Maybe she’ll want something done quicker and push it towards me. I still do most of the cooking, and often by default. It’s a pattern we’ve built. If we continue in this fashion, it’ll probably be one that sticks around for a while. I’m fine with it, there’s no stress on my side. Probably based on this story we’ve internalised around the process.

A friend came over last night. She’s studying narrative therapy. She was talking about how we tend to guide ourselves by the stories we see in our lives. Experiences have taught us that the world is a certain way, and we reflexively work around those guidelines. Stories, however, come with certain perspectives. There’s an absurd amount of power in being able to reframe our stories, and take different lessons from them. Maybe it’s understanding an alternate viewpoint and seeing ourselves as an equal participant rather than a victim. Perhaps it’s turning our perceived failures into unintentional training for future scenarios. It’s entirely within our reach to differently understand the past with renewed analysis. Maybe the only thing stopping us from learning is fear, and once we move past it we can accomplish anything.

Which is what I should have told the guy, so next time I didn’t have to wait for his wife to get my keys cut.

In pokemon it’s pronounced “Kakuna Rattata”

Before any ranting starts, I want to run a valid disclaimer. None of what I’m about to say actually matters. My opinion is not important, and should not deter anyone from any desired activity they choose to pursue. We’re all adults here (I can’t earnestly advise any children to read anything I write. I think it would be ill-advised at best, and actively harmful at worst), and we can choose how we want to spend our lives. I, for instance, climb atop dumb moral high horses and canter around. It serves nobody, least of all myself. The one saving grace is that my errant venting tuckers me out, and likely prevents me from spilling any additional unnecessary vitrtiol, which can only be a positive thing. I don’t have to possess an opinion here, and the notion of people being allowed to like the thing they like as long as they’re not actively harmful to others stands true as ever. With that said.

Fuck this Lion King film.

I say that as someone who grew up with this film. I say that as someone who saw the film in theatres. I say that as someone who made an ardent effort to collect every little bit of promotional material companies would churn out in an effort to get kids goading their parents into visiting their establishment. BP Lion King sticker collection? Check. I probably had little toys, or soft toys or something. I say this as someone who loved the Sega Genesis game. I say this as someone who used to “play house”, but as Simba and Nala with my childhood crush (and how did I not turn out to be a furry?). I say this as someone whose parents’ friends lent them the NTSC VHS of The Lion King (and the cover had a blue, not orange sky), so I had to switch my VCR from PAL, and I watched it no less than 30 times in those few weeks, sometimes multiple times per day. I say this as someone who went along with friends to the theatre 2011 re-release they did with printed sheets of all the song lyrics, bringing every intention of singing along. I say this as someone who, at age 31, excitedly got same day tickets to the broadway musical in London.

Fuck this Lion King film. Disney is wasting our time and doing a disservice to one of their most venerated/beloved movies in their catalogue. It looks fucking terrible, the reviews are not favourable, and it’s going to make a TERRIFYING amount of money.

THIS IS A KIDS’ FILM. The original Lion King delighted audiences with its balance of pathos and magical realism. It was a cartoon, with a wonderfully diverse colour palette and wacky sequences. Timon and Pumbaa were fourth wall breaking loons. There were broadway throwbacks, that whole hula thing. It was silly, and a joyous celebration of imagination. The new film has decided to take a super grounded take, complete with animals devoid of human style features. How are we supposed to connect to these characters when they’re basically CGI Mr Ed? I’m not throwing shade at the animators. It looks gorgeous, no doubt. It’s very much cutting edge stuff, but the decision to cut back on the more fanciful aspects of the film are every part a disappointment.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT. It’s a fucking Aaron Sorkin style walk and talk. Then look at THIS marvellous sumbitch. They use the animation to its fullest. There are spotlights, visual metaphors, even those bugs look goddamn delicious.

The cast is AMAZING. It is. Beyonce’s new song is awesome. But the whole experience is cheapened by the notion that Disney is supposed to be redoing its classics in live action. This film, entirely CGI, shits on that idea. It’s so fucking cynical and crude it makes me want to puke. There’s no point to this film beyond just making oceans of currency (curren-sea?). They’re not looking to push the envelope and create something visionary, they’re looking to create moolah.

Look. I’m very very happy with the idea of giving a new generation of kids something to be excited about and cherish for years. I don’t like to shit on things just because they weren’t from my childhood. I strongly believe that kids deserve good quality entertainment (’cause I adored pop-culture as a child and I only want everyone else to have the best too). Thing is, the originals still fulfill all of this, and I’m not sure that this new film will really be thought about in 20 years’ time. Except in jest, maybe.

At some point I may get to a “no worries” place on this. Hakuna Matata, however, is a long way off. I mean, for the rest of my days? That’s a while away.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re similar to a kiss from a rose on the grey?

There’s a note next to my desk. It simply reads “Jet Fuel Can’t Melt Steel Beams <3”

I think about it often. Almost every time I read it, that is. I don’t read it every day, but on days I do, I sure think about it.

I was listening to “Kiss from a Rose” today. I’d forgotten how much that song geninely pumps me up. Like yeah, it’s a silly ballad that’s been overplayed and meme-fied ad infinitum, but the song is still all kinds of righteous. There are so many goddamn harmonies, the vocals are flawless and I FUCKING DARE YOU not to song along to the “BAY BAEEEE” part of the chorus, while closing your eyes and thrusting a fist in the air. I’m assuming you’ve all followed suit, and I refuse to acknowledge anything else. I remember it very much as a Batman song, for the indisputably goofy Batman Forever. Today I learned that “Kiss from a Rose” was originally written in 1987, but Seal was embarrassed by it and didn’t release it until 1994. It still wasn’t the hit it deserved to be until it was featured in the aforementioned Batman film, playing second fiddle to U2’s “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”. Seal’s monster hit went on to become a three time Grammy award winner, and Bono went on to become a sanctimonious prick.

The song still whips the llama’s ass.

I just realised that some of you might think I’m a 9-11 truther. I can assume you that’s not the case. First and foremost, I think about 9/11 so little that I had to google “9 11” to see if it was hyphenated or had a slash. I’m thankful that the first results weren’t for the emergency services phone number.

WAIT A MINUTE. That may be the first time I’ve ever made that connection. And I’m sure we’ve all read the story of Steve Buschemi as a former volunteer firefighter showing up on 9/11 to help out. MAYBE the whole thing was some PR scheme for congress to push for a budgetary increase to emergency services. I mean, have you ever seen a firefighter and a congressperson in the same place? I KNOW I HAVEN’T. THIS COULD GO ALL THE WAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE.

Did I just become a 9/11 truther? I sure hope not.

Y’know, back home in NZ, the emergency services number is “111”. I’ve never called “911” in my life, and to this day it still seems like something they do in movies. When I was a kid, growing up on North American media, everything America did seemed cinematic. It was a place of wonder, and these days it’s become a sad mockery of whatever once made it great. I’m not presenting this as a hot take, but wow oh wow has its worldwide clout ever fallen. I don’t know what the country at large could do to restore faith in its operation. I have one suggestion. It’s very bold, out there and unconventional, but I also think it’d do its part to inspire generations of young Americans to lift each other together.

It’s remarkably simple. Change the national anthem to “Kiss from a Rose”.

Jet fuel may not be able to melt steel beams (though I’m sure the combination of heat and being impacted by a fucking plane could do a whammy on them), but that song can melt the hardest of hearts.

I just alphabet my bottom dollar, and lost

Today has been remarkably unremarkable. So I’ve decided that I’m going to write true bulletpoints about things that have happened today, and each new bulletpoint will start with the last letter of the past one.

Because I’m so creative and out there, or something.

  • I had an incredibly disruptive sleep.
  • Peculiarly enough, I awoke feeling refreshed.
  • Didn’t have cold brew before leaving the house, after yesterday’s meds+cold brew high.
  • Honestly, it would’ve made the commute more fun.
  • Nevertheless, transit was surprisingly harmless.
  • Should mention though, some old dude had no seat and he was shaking a lot.
  • Truthfully, the right thing for me to do would’ve been asking if anyone would vacate their seat.
  • That said, he only stayed on for two stops.
  • Still, I felt bad for my inaction.
  • No sooner had he left, had I forgotten there was ever an issue.
  • Especially once I got a seat and zoned into my podcast.
  • The episode was an All Fantasy Everything where the discussed draft was overrated things.
  • Sushi was deemed overrated, and the rest of the podcast dissented.
  • Donburi was not mentioned, but even hearing about sushi made me crave a bowl.
  • Later, upon arriving at work, we were bombarded with donuts for the second time in as many days.
  • Suspicious, no?
  • Or maybe it’s just that everyone is always in meetings, and refreshments are commonly provided.
  • Donuts might be pushing it. They were timbits, which are basically fried bread balls.
  • Sadly, I don’t really like donuts much unless they’re cake donuts.
  • Stupidly, I had one that was not a cake donut. I enjoyed it very little.
  • Eating is basically my favourite part of any day, and it felt like a waste to consume something I didn’t like. Do you ever feel that way? Like you blew a meal on a shitty choice, when other options were available? That’s why I need a time machine, to go back and correct all my terrible food decisions. Or what if I could go back in time and have kimchi much earlier in my life, improving many many years of my life by its regular inclusion in my diet. But what if cumulative years of eating that much fermented cabbage did weird things to my gastrointestinal path? Would that be a worth tradeoff for an extra decade or so of consuming this gorgeous preseved delicacy?
  • Yes. Yes it would.
  • Donuts and kimchi aside, today involved a bunch of changes to work that’d already been done. It’s a frustrating but necessary aspect of my job.
  • But I also got to voice this morning, which was fun.
  • Normally they get me in when they need some kind of accent. These scripts called for an Aussie accent.
  • Took me a few tries to warm into it. We were offering samples for a station down country, so we gave them a gentle accent, and one that hit the sneer with the pedal to the floor.
  • Regretfully, I didn’t get anything super creative to voice, just soft sell stuff.
  • Far too little of my day was spent voicing, in comparison to my normal work.
  • Kimchi is a thing I’m going to eat when I get home.
  • Ever realise you’ve spent too much time on a gimmick that it feels too late to pull out?
  • That’s called Sunken Cost Phallusy, and it’s mostly how I feel about life.
  • Existentialism wasn’t where I thought this would go.
  • Originally I just expected I’d talk about poop, like any other day.
  • Your guess was as good as mine as to where this would end up.
  • Particularly while we’re talking about ending up, maybe thats’ where this should head.
  • Don’t you think?
  • Ka kite!

I’ve put everything I own in a box to the left

A friend and I started chatting about Ivanka Trump’s absurd G20 appearance, and it all kind of spiralled. Here’s how my side of the conversation went:

If I wasn’t so horrified by everything their government has been doing over the past few years, I’d have second hand embarrassment. It’s as funny as it is fucking upsetting.

It honestly just makes me angry, and it’s hard not to be furious at strawman legions of ignorant small town white dudes in my head who voted him into power. But there was obviously more to it than that, and I’m scared that it really is leading to a dystopian future of sorts. It’s gruelling to watch it happening in slow motion, and it’s a total vortex. We can all see each other split into defined silos and we’re just letting it happen. We’re losing touch with one another. It’s even harder in Ontario, because we’re all breathing the same air and I don’t know why their Ontario is apparently so different from ours.

A lot of these “clean the slate” bollocks and “cost cutting measures” are very much preying on general ignorance. Like, governments have debt. It’s kind of part of the whole deal. They’re investing on the kind of projects that amortise over decades. It’s very very hard to bankrupt a province, y’know? But people assume it’s like personal finance, where if you’re in the red it’s a more pressing issue. It’s not that we want to be in the red as a province, but it’s a known quantity in politics.

There’s so much dirty lobbyist stuff going on. Back pocket payments, new clandestine laws hidden inside other bills, etc. So you’ve got a series of businessmen getting into politics purely to make deals with their friends, and help all of their cronies make more money at the behest of those who think they’re being cared for. When it comes down to it, I don’t understand how their constituents think. Like, how do you hear “no jobs will be lost” then see so many jobs being lost and think “well they said no jobs would be lost, so I guess it’ll be fine.” How do you equate that and see business as normal?

It’s also people ad nauseum regurgitating talking points they inherited. I’m sure this very much includes myself. When it comes to divides along racial, sexual and socioeconomic lines, I don’t know how much they’ve examined their ideas, or if they’ve been passed down from their opinion leaders and taken as granted. Their parents or bosses said these things, and that became normalcy for them. Not that this is isolated to the right either. When it comes to the left, there’s a point at which we become sanctimonious, and having certain level moral obligations doesn’t recuse other shitty behaviour. Social media is an absurd echo chamber at times, which blocks out a ton of very valid dissenting views.

There’s this pervasive notion all across the left that I really hate. This idea that “now that I’ve learned this thing, I get to cast judgement on people who don’t know it yet.” Everyone’s always learning, right? And we can’t expect people to know stuff just because we do. I bet I’ve expressed a ton of shitty views even in the last year, let alone when I was 20. At the same time, I get a lot of internal friction with concepts of tone policing, etc. I very much believe in righteous anger and expression of feelings. I also believe that it often gets in the way of finding mutual connection as a method of sharing ideas. And I’m not gonna ever tell someone they don’t have the right to their valid feelings, but I can often see it running counter to peoples’ goals. Emotional labour is hard. Also sometimes doing it is in your own best interest.

I feel like there’s kind of a missing staircase in the discussion from the left standpoint. We know that there are so many kinds of privilege that people benefit from. A lot of marginalised people don’t have these forms of benefit, and the underlying notion is that those who have a ton of privilege should work to dismantle these systems to make things more equitable. I hear that, I get that, I beleive that.

ALSO, what we’re asking for is directly to the “detriment” of most of these privileged people. They’re giving up things, and for many of them the upside (increasing representation, giving opportunities to those who haven’t historically had access to them) doesn’t benefit them in a tacit way (or at least, obvious). Why would they want to help with something that doesn’t do much for them? How is that a viable tradeoff for a ton of people who don’t understand the nuance of why it’s important? To most of them, they’re just giving things up, and they already see themselves as victims, because we all do. For so many people, spreading happiness is not a motivating driver. They’re worried about themselves and those close to them, and strangers don’t factor into that equation. In their heads they want to tend to their own garden first, but the “first” aspect is a misnomer when problems will always be present. Life is hard.

I don’t like much of the above, but I think it’s real.