Hey folks, today I’m gonna talk about masturbation habits. I don’t imagine it’s gonna get particularly lewd, or that I’m gonna talk about anything to do with my body, but here’s your warning up top.
When I was hanging out with friends yesterday, someone mentioned that they’d recently gotten a Hitachi. As they’d put it, it felt like a queer rite of passage. They said it now typically took them around 45 seconds per orgasm. Most of my buddies these days tend to be relatively pervy, and I thought it was interesting hearing people talk about it. It’s not something that people often feel comfortable talking about. At the same time, I assume that for most of us, masturbation plays a relatively common role in our lives. Some friends mentioned that they typically did it most mornings to prep them for a day. It tends to be an evening thing for me, to relax and get ready for bed. I chatted with my girlfriend about it and- without spilling the beans on her personal habits- was fascinated to hear just how differently things play out for her. I tend to be pretty liberal about this kind of thing. My stance on sex/sexual stuff is that I hope everyone is having as much of it as they want, and enjoying themselves to the fullest.
It’s a pretty regular occurrence in my life. It relieves stress, helps me calm down, and straight up feels great. Why wouldn’t I? I probably started around age 12 or so, and obviously was quite into it as a teen. Weren’t we all? Things that I’ve been into have fluctuated over the years, and as I’ve grown I’ve branched out into all kinds of different material. There are so many things I find fascinating. There are a myriad of power dynamics that are interesting in all sorts of different ways. I’ve definitely watched a ton of porn that was more about curiosity and entertainment than any actual pleasure. We’re talking Pterodactyl Porn and Segway Cuckold kind of stuff. I once watched this six part series looking at different dynamics within latex-y stuff, and the final episode was just an interview with the cast/director. Nothing erotic. It was fantastic. She talked about her experiences with the industry, pitfalls and how she got ahead. She started as a performer years back, and had a ton of wisdom to share with her younger cast.
There’s a huge spectrum of stuff I’m into, and particular tastes come in ebbs and flows. Every once in a while I’ll be like oh yeah, that’s something I was into a while back and maybe I still will be. I’ve developed odd habits around privacy/secrecy with this stuff, even though I’m the only one who uses my computer. I always browse in a private browser. I never save anything to my computer. Instead I just hope that I’ll remember where stuff is. I have a ton of favoured videos/pictures/stories from across the years, and I rely on memory to recall where I found them. It’s a mixed bag, honestly. They could be from one of 20 or so tube sites, from a random Tumblr page (that probably doesn’t exist anymore), or even from Bing Video. Oh, that’s a bizarre thing more people should know. While Bing is mostly a much maligned search engine, it excels when it comes to searching for adult videos. Exponentially better than Google Video. Odd, that. Occasionally I’ll spend a ton of time trying to locate something I previously found, and it’ll end up being anticlimactic (or anti-climax-ic?). Other times it’ll be precisely what I’m looking for.
Weirdly (or at least I tend to think so. We’re all freaks here, right?) I tend to be into a lot of non-nude stuff and Instagram has been great. It’s also nice to know that stuff has generally been uploaded by the user themselves (or at least consensually uploaded by their social team). Like anything I sign up for (for the purposes of lewd browsing) I have a particular user name/password combination that I don’t use for anything else. I used to use Tumblr before they cracked down on adult content. Instagram has a pretty far reach, and gives me a ton of flexibility in what I search. Typically I’ll spend a bunch of time searching pictures (having 20-50 pictures loaded up in tabs), then going off to find some tube video. It makes me wonder why I spend so much time looking up pictures in the first place, but maybe that’s what my brain classifies as foreplay. I have a common rolodex (rolo-dicks?) of tube sites that I use for different purposes. Some cater to different kinds of material, or I’ll know that a particular actor has a lot more work stored on one site. I have so many different search terms that I use, and tend to be hyper specific, spending time paring search terms down to find exactly what I’m looking for. The idea of someone getting off in 45 seconds feels so alien to me, considering the amount of time and specificity I take during my “process”. Of course, if I had the potential to be multi-orgasmic, I imagine things would change substantially.
I don’t know that there was a message in all this. Masturbation is an entirely healthy practice that I hope people feel great about doing. I love that we’re all different, that we’re into a variety of stuff and I’m always happy to hear about how others take care of themselves.