For a change, I’m worn the fuck out.
It was totally non-intentional. I had zero plans last night, then made the last minute switch to have plans. See, it all began when I woke up thinking it was Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t, but it was hard to shake the feeling. I was like is there any way to lean into this unnecessary delusion? I looked up some events and saw that there was a Bumble pre-Valentine’s mixer happening. Free drinks, all you needed was a Bumble account. I thought back to when I got really into dating podcast Why Oh Why? The host went to a couple of events and they sounded fun/silly.
I was borderline interested, but then thought back to that time I installed Bumble. It was sub-optimal. I swiped and swiped, often coming across friend’s accounts. Each and every one of those friends had stopped using the platform, so it turned out I was scrolling through what were likely endless dead accounts. Or maybe that’s what I told myself to feel better about my lack of matches. Who knows? My thumb still gets phantom pain from all the swiping. I figured I was better to stay home and have a low key night. The cat has been incredibly fussy lately, noisy at night. A decent sleep would do me wonders. I went home for a quiet night.
Around 9pm, I saw that one of my friends was attending the event. I was not dressed, I hadn’t eaten dinner and leaving the house was probably not in my best interests. We chatted, she said to come along, and if it was a total bust we could just grab a drink. I hadn’t been out all week, so I figured why not be adventurous, y’know? I hastily made dinner, showered and concurrently pre-drank. I ordered an Uber and managed to get there for 10pm. Real feat, that. I walked in the door and saw my friend standing there. It was loud, very loud. I seriously wondered about my ability to hold a conversation. It’s basically the only tool I have in my arsenal. “We have to leave immediately” my friend whispered. With no questions, I did a 180 and we grabbed her coat, then left. I figured that her judgement had always been impeccable, so if she said we needed to leave, we did. We walked to a Liberty Village craft beer bar and grabbed a table.
Adroitly, she pointed out the issue with the dating app party. On these apps, you have the benefit of relative anonymity. Creeps can’t message you because of the filters. You’re protected somewhat. When you go to a dating app party it’s kind of like going to a regular bar, but there are no pretentions of what people are there for and EVERYONE IS THIRSTY. It’s goddamn oppressive. It sounded less than ideal, and from the two minutes I spent there I already didn’t like it. Having left and gone to a craft beer bar, however, we didn’t have those problems. We just had good beer. I even ordered a cheesecake. It was gas.
It was fucking great to catch up, and I can’t imagine the kind of time I could’ve had at the party that would’ve been better. She’s a top notch human, and conversation has always been incredibly easy. So easy, in fact, that by the time we’d had two beers and settled up the tab, it was later that we thought. Look, we hadn’t checked our phones, but how the hell does it just BECOME 1am? On a school night, no less. We hurriedly got out of there and gapped it to the bus. I got home and the cat still hadn’t been fed. She was all kinds of ornery (not really, she was just loud. I think that’s her natural state). I fed her and managed to get into bed for 2am. The cat was not ready for bed. Throughout the night, in very regular intervals she started caterwauling and scratching at the door. Again and again. My earplugs were long since worn out, so I just suffered, maybe managing all of 3.5 hours sleep. I’ve been half past dead today, and no amount of coffee has been able to exhume me.
Tonight I have very deliberate plans of zero plans. Maybe I can actually follow through this time.