This was supposed to be done hours ago.
But nOOOooo, my girlfriend had to remind me that it was such a nice daaAAAAy, and suggested I’d probably really like biking to wOOoooOOrk. And she was rIIIiiight, but still. I barely have the attention span to write this while on the subway. I doubt I would’ve gotten very far holding it in one hand while the other held the handlebar of my bike. I’ve yet to entirely clear my handlebars with my airbourne body (not that it’s a goal of mine. What can I say? I aim low), but that would’ve been a surefire method.
I was talking with a friend last night about our weird little community. It’s an oddity and a treasure all wrapped into one. These disparate people have become a family of sorts. We help and support one another. It’s the larger part of my social circle. Lines of intimacy and romance are often crossed, given that most of us are poly. It’s probably my single favourite thing about Toronto. This friend and I were talking about the group [you can say “cult”, this is a safe space -Ed], and how it’s shaped us. Without question, I would not be the person who I am today without these folks. They’ve helped shape my views and let me to understand conflicts I otherwise never would’ve. They’ve enriched my life with perspectives and knowledge. They’ve normalised affection between friends, which has defined how I interact with people I care about. My friend and I pondered having never found this group at all. She joined by total mistake, accidentally clicking the wrong Facebook link. She stuck with it and was welcomed in.
I thought back to the chain of events that led me there and started pulling. I met the group through my girlfriend, who was friends with some of the founding members. I met her at a sex positive community party. I was introduced to that party through a live sex storytelling event. I knew about the storytelling event through one of its hosts, who I met on OkCupid. But of course it goes further back than that. I met her because I was in Toronto. I was in Toronto because I’d immigrated from New Zealand. Buuuut, the reason I went to Toronto was because of some guy I’d met at a party. I was planning on living in Vancouver because I had family there, but was largely ignorant of Canada as a whole. This guy was like “you’re looking to find a media job, right? Skip Vancouver, it’s sleepy and Toronto is media central in Canada.” I followed his advice.
But why was he at that party? Because he was a friend of someone I met through local community theatre. Why did I join said community theatre? Because of a high school drama classmate/friend. So had I not met this friend through high school drama, would I have met this group here in Toronto? Maaaaybe another event would’ve triggered meeting him. Or perhaps someone else would’ve given me that idea, but here’s where it gets tricky. I only went to Toronto when I did because of a break up. I was with someone at the time in a long term relationship. If we hadn’t have broken up, I probably would’ve stayed in that relationship for years. Moving to Canada would’ve either never happened, or happened years after it did while I waited for my partner at the time to be ready for the move.
So y’know what? There was a pretty slim chance, all things considered, that I’d bike to work today. I guess that makes me lucky?