I feel like I need a new “thing”.
I dunno, as we come to the changing of the seasons, it dawns on me that I haven’t had a personal brand refresh in a while. It seems reductive to keep harping on about how great Paddington 2 was (and it was, don’t get me wrong here), but that film was so last year (or 2017, it gets muddy when you look too far into it). I need something else to stay relevant. I need a new “thing” that I do, or am, or will be. Am I talking about destiny? Knowing me, density is more likely. Let’s see, what could be a new “thing” for me? Let’s slow it right down for a closer look. Bullet[point] Time!
- I thought the other day that my new “thing” could be the finger guns and positivity guy. I could roam the office floor making finger guns and supportive comments. *Single glock* “Hey Johnson, that’s a suave colour on you. Keep it up. *Hunting rifle* Hey Anders, your smile always lights up a room. *Double barrelled shotgun* Hey Pelaten, you inspire me to be a better person. I love complimenting people, it’s right up my alley. Could this be my caling?
- I’ve dallied with radius recycling before, in that I’d pick up rubbish or recycling in the vicinity of a bin, and place it in the appropriate receptacle. Maybe I’d find success in active cleanups. Toss on my joggers, grab my headphones and plastic bag, then pick up rubbish while on the move. Since I’d be bending down a bunch to pick stuff up, I could work on movement standards to ensure I didn’t damage joints. It’d be dynamic exercise, while doing my part to improve the environment for other people. Or on weekends, I could load up the vape for a leisurely sun drenched cleanup.
- I could get a new aesthetic. I’ve been the technicolour trashbag for long enough. My typical attire involves varying monochrome trousers and T-shirts. I’m pretty much a video game character with alternating colour palettes. What if instead, I found a feature piece of apparel and made that my thing? I could have one of those propellor hats, or a light up shirt that says “APPLAUSE” in all caps. Maybe bracelets that resembled handcuffs, or a fuzzy pink choker. Wait, did I just try to incorporate “peacocking” from The Game into my wardrobe. Oh geez, this is going somewhere.
- Speaking of going somewhere, perhaps I could start using an unintuitive method of transport that makes me stand out. It’s been some time since pennyfarthings were popular. Or I could adapt one of those railway handcars to steer and roam the streets of Toronto holding up traffic. Has anyone strapped children’s skateboards to their feet and used ski poles to gain momentum? Or how about splitting the difference and making a pair of roller skates with monster truck wheels?
- Slam poetry. I’ve never done it, but I know that part of it involves clicking your fingers and I’m very good at that. I like words a lot, and it’d be a good excuse to finally buy a cheesecutter. I don’t understand the rhythm or cadence, but The Internet is out there. I could learn. I feel like I’d get to smise a bunch, which seems a pretty cool thing to do.
- What if I picked a year, researched the lingo and stuck hard to it? When did people say “radical”? Was that a 1992 thing? Or adding “ski” as a suffix? What about calling others “daddio”? It seems foolish to leave stuff in the past, so why not BECOME the past? I can’t see any good reason that the above vernacular fell out of favour.
What’s old is new, and it could finally be the time to unveil the “new me”. Without New Coke we wouldn’t have gotten Diet Coke. Maybe it’s a step towards eventual evolution.